Strange Relation

It seems highly ironical that I should be writing this just hours after my last post. Didn't I just satirize and poke fun at my relatives and say how I couldn't stand them? Well, do you know what it's like when they go away forever? My paternal grandfather just passed away. He was 95. He was senile and almost fully blind. He suffered a lot these past few years. He was strong, he fought till the end.
Remember that pull I talked about? Well, its at work right now and I can't even see the keyboard properly because I'm crying. Its strange. I didn't even cry this much when my paternal grandmother died. We got the news at around 4 in the morning and when my mother woke me up to give me the news, I just stared impassively at her and went back to sleep. I was never close to her. I only cried a little bit when I saw her body. They said that during her last hours, all she could say was my name. Maybe she was remembering how partial and biased she was towards Kinkini. I remember when we were kids, we both made something and went upto her to show it and asked whose was better. First the diplomatic answer "Both" but when pressed, she pointed towards Kinkini.
When my maternal grandfather died, I was only 9 years old. It was the first time I had ever come to terms with a death. I didn't know how to go about it. I had never seen my mother act the way she did when she saw his body. For the next few days, all I did were burst into tears and hide myself under the blanket. And then, I asked my grandmother if they were going to have biryani at the funeral service. I would play with the ribbons which came with the sweet boxes and get into fights with other kids for it. The house was always full of people and they would come up to me and say something like, "Where's your grandpa gone?" like I was some little kid
Coming back to my paternal grandfather, I remember how he would teach me English grammar during the summer holidays, he would talk about his days as newspaper editor at Anand Bazar Patrika. He would talk about how they would receive hourly reports of World War II. He would talk about how good my father's English was and how he failed his Biology exams (giggle). Even though I knew about his condition, it pains me to think how I never prayed for him and I know I can't do anything about it now.
He gave me a quotation long ago and in some eerie way, it seems so apt :
Tomorrow, tomorrow & tomorrow,
Creeps into petty pace.
All our yesterdays,
Have lighted fools the way
To dusty death
Out, out brief candle
Life’s but a waking shadow,
Which struts & frets
And is heard no more
It is an empty tale, told by an idiot,
Full of sound & fury,
Signifying nothing.

Relativity Of Relations

We're all related to everybody else in some or the other way. There is an invisible cosmic thread that binds each and every one of us. You might not know that the person you just befriended was your neighbour a long time ago, before they moved away. Maybe the person sitting next to you, attended a summer camp with you, when you were just a toddler. Some relations are absloutely incredible, almost to the point of being unbelievable. Who would have thought my mother's friend, Mallika Aunty's sister in law's brother's son would be K.K. Anilesh???? Who knew that my fellow Bengali classmate in school, Promita, was my sixth cousin? Of course, we all like to be related to someone famous. My father likes to joke that I'm related to Akhil Chandra Sen, you know the person who wrote that infamous letter during the British Raj that led to the introduction of toilets on trains. Well, then I suppose we all need to be thankful to him, shouldn't we? In school, someone asked me if I was related to Raja Ram Mohan Roy. I wish I was but sorry, I'm not. Just because you share the same name or even a part of your name with someone doesn't always mean that you descend from their bloodline. But never in my wildest dreams would I have been able to guess that Sharmila Tagore was related to well.......Rabindranath Tagore. By the way, did you know that Brangelina are actually related? How incestuous is that?
If not in our present life, we even like to examine our relations in our past life. I remember seeing this sitcom where this lady was acting all high and mighty because she found out that in her past life, she was a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of a person who knew Joan of Arc (giggle) I always thought I was a cat that camped near a baseball field in New York, in my last birth. Don't ask where I got that idea from.
But love them or hate them, there are some relations you can't escape from and they are........your relatives (Dum dum dum) If you notice, it's like as if relatives have this International Code Of Conduct which they are bound to follow, some of which include :
* Pinching your cheeks and embaressing public displays of affection
* Telling you, "Last time I saw you, you were just this big!" (yes, how many times have we all heard that?)
* Reminding you of embaressing childhood incidents like, "Remember when you were just a year old, you slapped me?" Well, that's a pity because now, I can't get away with something like that
and so on..........................
Of course, not all of them are bad. Maybe you get to find out that you have a couple of really good looking cousins (ahem ahem, is a certain someone reading this?) Albeit everything, relatives do have some role to play in your lives
* They serve as role models at times
* They pamper you silly
* They buy you whatever you want
* They always prevent your parents from yelling at you
But at times, things can get superficial like how your aunts and uncles pretend to love you more than your cousins, in front of them, but in reality they love them more. Well, that's perfectly acceptable because who could digest the fact that your mother thinks your bratty, ill-behaved relations are more adorable than you?
Bratty, ill behaved..................admit it, there are some in every family and you can't help detesting them, can you? The adults go all like "Dance for us" or "Sing a song for us" when you least want to do it and that too in front of complete strangers. What do I look like? A courtesan? The kids are even worse. The gospel truth is that I can't stand my cousins!!! OK, there's only a year's difference between me and Kinkini and we did play together when we were kids, so you could say I'm almost immunised against her behaviour but not that 8 year old! She comes into the house like she's royalty, gets up late, makes a fuss when woken up and makes life hell. In Kolkata, she switches the T.V. off when I'm watching it because she doesn't like what I'm seeing or she wants to play. I understand the need for that but I'm 17..I'm oldddd compared to her. She hasn't developed reading habits as yet and can't understand what I love so much about those fat books. Stiching is not a duet, it is best done, with lesser risk of injury, alone. She hates the fact that all my books and Barbies and other stuff are neatly arranged and to set things right, she has to spread them all over the bed and leave them like that after she's finished. And you of course know what she did to my poster. I'll never forgive her for that. She has to listen in on all my phone conversations and has the gall to tell me to hang up! The kind of food she eats seems unpalatable to me. She always has to sit in the front seat, even if it's a long drive and me, my mother and my aunt have to die of asphyxiation at the back. If refused, she becomes the avatar of wrath and that makes me want to slap all those nakhras out of her. She always too curious about things. Come on, an 8 year old in these times doesn't know what the Internet is? Puh-lease!!!!!!!!! You've got to be kidding me! You wouldn't believe half the things she told me about her school. I hope for her sake they're untrue. She scrunches up her nose at my music taste but she sways to the tunes of "Sexy lady on the floor.............Keep you coming back for more" If she happens to see this post, years later, when she's all wised up, I hope she realises with what forbearance I had to put up with her.
Yes, I know I should be awarded the Bad Big Sister Award and I don't care even if I was because both my elder cousins love me very much for I'm the sweetest, most adorable, most loving little sister in the whole world! People would kill to have me as their younger sibling. You think I'm boasting? Absolutely not! There is no place for untruth on my blog. Embellishments, yes but untruth, no.
I know everybody has their own story to tell and no matter what you feel for your relatives, there will always be that pull for them, deep inside you. You don't care if they're horrible to everybody else or social misfits or downright embaressment but to you they will always be your cousin, your aunt, you uncle or your grandparents and nothing.........even if you wished for it, could change that

R.I.P. Westlife Poster

When was it that we were first introduced? When did your music enrapture me? I don't remember clearly but I can say that you were an integral part of my life when I was growing up. Your albums graced my cassette decks, the T.V. would show your videos all day long. I would scan the newspaper everyday if they carried some article or photos of you and if they did, they would be zealously cut out and stored in my bookcase. I would listen to your songs everyday, before going to school, while eating breakfast. I'd spend hours on the Internet downloading candid shots of you and distributing them to my fellow fans. I would look up trivia on you and preach them to those who were interested to know about you. But that wasn't enough........I had to have something of you that would show your importance in my life.
It happened one day when I was in Sangeet Sagar. I saw the poster of your new album Turnaround on the door. I went up to the salesboy and had a little chat.
Me : Do you get posters here?
Him : Of course
and he pulled out the very same one that adorned the store door.
Me : How much?
Him : It's free of charge
VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Finally, for the first time in my life I actually got something that I longed for. I told this to my friends the next day in school. And naturally they were envious of me. I proudly put you up on my balcony door. You stood out like some dark knight in your black hues against the white canvas. You were the first thing I saw when I woke up every morning and the last thing before going to bed. But as time flew by, the inevitable happened. I grew up and......I outgrew you as well.
But you still occupied that special place, partly because you went so well with my room decor and partly because, even till this day I remain a loyal fan of your music, just like the old days. For five years, you remained the sole master of my door space (temporarily taken down when we had to repaint the door) until she came along........Face like an angel, cute pins in her hair, little Miss Anushka Ghosh Roy literally tore you apart from me. I really don't know what it is that you had done to anger her so much that she had to rip your sides and scratch all your faces. She's just a child, they said. But surely even an 8 year old would have atleast even a modicum of sensitivity? You were broken and cut down to pieces but I still left you there because that was your rightful place. But today, when you gave way and fell from grace, I had to admit defeat. It is with a heavy heart that I take you down and fold you up carefully and place you at the bottom of my wardrobe. All I can say in memoriam is that, you will be a tough act to follow up

Vote For Chiruni!

Election time is here again. Bother, bother. So a catharsis of my political views is only fitting.
I was going to give this post a cliched title like "Politically Incorrect" but what I'm going to write here is not going to be incorrect, it's going to be direct and frank. And besides, I hate being incorrect, so there. Villify me if you dare.
"Politically Correct" would also be a misnomer because what is correct in politics? Can we say that monarchy was wrong and democracy is correct? Loads of kingdoms and civilisations have flourished under monarchy and were perfectly happy. One man to decide what was right and what was wrong. Of course, there were a few aberrations in this form of government. A king was believed to be the representative of God on earth but some liked to imitate His not so godly relation down below. Imagine a group of plebians like us going up to mighty emperors like Ashoka or Akbar and saying, "Ok, this society needs restructuring. From now on, we're going to decide who's to govern us and if we don't like you, we'll throw you out. Capiche?" The mighty emperor blinks. "Guards!!!! Have these buffoons thrown in prison and executed for their preposterous proposal and treachery to their emperor!" Yeah, I think that would be the situation here in the Middle Ages.
But democracy came into existence long time ago, in a beautiful land far, far away, full of smart and brave people, called Greece. Yes, they're the ones who came up with the idea of having people lord over you but at the same time, being responsible to you for whatever they do. See, I told you they were smart! But after Rome conquered them, they were forced to be happy with whichever form of government which was in vogue in those days. No civilisation in this world, I think, has seen so many governmental changes as Rome. You name it and they had it. Monarchy under tyrants like Tarquinus Superbus (no, he did not have a super double decker bus), a little thing called democracy and the like. Sure there were powerful people in those times and even a slight mention of being king would have you stoned in public like a petty thief. Victims of such ideaology - Julius Caesar and Tiberius Gracchus. Trying military times forced them to appoint a dictator to take the reins of the empire into their own hands, but that was just for a short while. But dictatorship could never be far away for a power hungry race like the Romans. If you notice, history exemplifies Italy's need to have power (read as rise of Fascism and the Mafia) but I still love that country. Reasons to be disclosed in another post but now I must come back from my digression. Augustus (Octavius Caesar) was the first emperor and people thought he was the best thing since spaghetti (such hypocrites I tell you!) Anyway the problem was that because he was such a good emperor, people thought that the following ones would be good as well. Oh you simpletons! Sure, some were good like Traegean (did I get his spelling right?) and some were barmy like Nero. See how it rhymes with "weirdo"?
Coming back to the correctness of politics, there's something I think which is worth debating : Communism Vs. Capitalism. It's what the world has been fighting about since 1945. Which is more right? I think it all depends on the perspective of the country. Russia and China chose to believe that everybody ought to get their share of the economy and thus hold the purse-strings whereas America believes that you do your own thing with your money, the government's not going to nose in and go all "Ok, one dollar for me, one dollar for you, one dollar for Jimmy......" So you say communism sounds better? Well, what cures Sancho makes Martha sick. Communism in India is predominantly seen in West Bengal and look at what its doing to the state! It's like torn in pieces.
So majority of the world thinks democracy is the best. And India proudly holds the title of being the largest democracy in the world. But you know what? I think democracy is being is being abused in our country. Yes the government is responsible to you but it's not responsible for everything. Fire guts down shops, the government's to blame. Flood in villages, the government didn't do anything to stop it.....Honestly, people, why don't you rectify the situation instead of pointing fingers? Oh how we love blaming others! But then again, the government's built such an image for itself that even if it's right, it has to bear the public ire due to its stereotype. When you say government in USA, you think White House, men in black suits, secrecy, fancy gadgets, hidden bases with alien exhibits. When you say government in England, you think polished men in crisp suits, Winston Churchill's victory sign, Her Majesty, tea....but when you say government in India you think khadi clad villains, red tapists, flying chairs in Parliament, buffaloes... Yes, a pretty pass indeed.
On a different note, I would like to document the serial blasts which took place in Jaipur yesterday. Some Indian Mujahudeen blah blah (I don't care about the spelling) claimed responsibility and even sent videos of their doing to the media. Just look at these sadists! It's like as if they're proud of what they've done and want to show off!!!
You're still wondering about the title? Chiruni means comb in Bengali and it happens to be one of the election symbols for the Cantonment Board Elections in my area. They have really strange symbols. All day long, they keep spouting annoying stuff on loudspeakers and going from door to door promoting their party. So these chiruni people came over to our house and gave us a free comb! Sweet. Some party has its election symbol as cake..so does that mean you'll give us cake? Yay!!! I'd like chocolate, if you please. Then there's the book party. Maybe they can give me The Unwaba Revelations. Can you believe Odyssey does not stock the book that's topping the city's bestseller list!!?? And then there's brick..what do you do with those? Throw it at the party workers? I'm really annoyed with banana. They stuck posters on our pillars. My aunt says Telugu politics is weird. I'll say. They're still hankering for Telangana. Personally I wouldn't have had a problem with that if they didn't want Hyderabad as its capital. What would it look like if I go up to somebody and say, "Hi! I'm from Hyderabad, capital of Telangana" EWWWW! Sounds chillar. And the person campaigning for T is some weirdo whom according to my aunt, looks like a pimp and according to my father, has nose that looks like a samosa (hee hee) But I think his nose looks more like Squidward's
Why did these people have to give us a comb? Now I feel like as if I'm obliged to give them a vote. I have this dreadful tendency of being duty bound to someone who gives me something for free. And I know my parents will vote Chiruni if I tell them to do so. They always did that. I remember when I was in 4th class and even though my father was all for BJP, I forced him to vote for Congress. Till date, I'm still inclined towards Congress but in this state, the only party that rules is mana Telugu Desam. Adi bestu. I'm going to be of voting age in December and what's going to happen if I allow myself to be swayed by their cheap gimmicks? I'll never be a responsible citizen!!! I'll only be aiding regression!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! Well, there's still time before the Parliamentary elections. I'm sure I'll wise up before that. And I think Rahul Gandhi is cute.........................
Me : You'll never learn, will you?
Myself : At this moment, I think not
Oh well........................
VOTE FOR....................Chiruni!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VOTE FOR....................Chiruni!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER : The following views are that of a 17 year old who has exercised her Right to Freedom of Expression and is not liable to have legal proceedings initiated against her on account of being a minor. So PHBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTT!!!!

April Showers

OK, let's make this short. April is the suckiest month of the year. It's swelteringly hot and its just full of exams. Exams, Exams, EXAMS!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! And don't bother asking me how I'm doing or how my exams went because I rather not talk about them and bury their haunting memories six feet under. Four years of my life spent for something which looks like it's going down the drain. But whatever, I know I haven't worked hard enough to deserve it so the entirety of the blame falls on me and I accept it.
April always did mean exams but they also meant holidays you know......once upon a time.....far, far away....in another world.....in another dimension.....Well no use cribbing. 10 years from now maybe April won't seem so bad. Maybe it'll just be like all the other months. By the way, I know May will suck too.
But you know the starting of April is not all that bad. I just discovered that recently. It's begun to take on a whole new meaning for me........

The Ten Commandments Of The Jerk Patrol

10. Thou shalt always bob thy head in greeting and not speak a word or mumble incoherently
9. Thou shalt always be referred to by thy respective special names or accent ("he" LOL)
8. Thou shalt always go out and do weird stuff together
7. Thou shalt always bicker and quarrel in a manner that evokes laughter from the spectators
6. Thou shalt always serve as a cause for hilarity whenever required
5. Thou shalt always appeal to The Other One at some point of time
4. Thou shalt always be talked about by thy peers
3. Thou shalt always be good looking in thy respective ways
2. Thou shalt always remain good hearted despite thy jerkness
1. Thou shalt always remain in memories till the end of time

An Evening In Paris

Actually I would like an eternity. Well, I'm done with my French exam but I'm not done with France. Everytime I sit down to study with my French textbook, I flip to the documents at the back and look at the pictures and fantasise. It's like I know the whole city by heart now just by the help of a book. Paris, the City of Lights and unofficially the City of Love. Yes, you mention Paris and you have visions of the Eiffel Tower with the French national anthem playing in the background or more recently, the Pont Neuf while one can hear in the background : Kaise samjhau tumhe mera pehla pehla pyaar hai yeh, woaah...Aankhon mein aitbaar hai ye woaah. I've always wanted to visit Paris and I will someday, when I'm all grown up and have loads of money. Yeah, me and my beau (peep?) and we'll plan a summer holiday. After all, en ete l'etrangers sont nombreux a Paris!
If I were French, I would have liked to be named Madeleine. Yes, its inspired by the cartoon. Wouldn't you like people to say "She's Madeleine, She's Madeleine", have a dog named Genevieve and live in a old house in Paris, covered with vines? Well, presently a luxury hotel would do. We'd get into a taxi and say "L'hotel du Palais Royal, s'il vous plait" Ok, so I don't know any other hotel but this one is centrally placed near all the monuments so it would be convenient.......and expensive. And before we arrive I would like to pay a visit to the church of my French namesake. L'eglise de Madeleine doesn't look like a Renaissance style church to me. It's architechture is more Doric like the ones you would get in Greece or Rome. Finally we arrive and I get my purse out to pay and say "Pourboire compris". "Merci, madame" says the taxi driver and drives off.
The Palais Royal is also walking distance from the Le Theatre Francais. We'll go down there in the evening. I do know enough French by know to understand atleast a little bit of the plays. I've always wanted to go to the Opera. We'll be dressed all fancy and see plays like Hippachi, The Sad Clown or Carmen, which I am dying to see! Meanwhile in the afternoon, our first stop is the Louvre. Wouldn't it be so cool if we walk in and music starts playing somewhere and you hear Nat King Cole's voice, "Mona - Lisa..........Mona - Lisa.............."
Avez vous de faim? Mais oui!! Allons nous au cafe. I heard people in France indulge in a lot of PDA. So the most I would be doing is holding hands. We choose a nice roadside cafe and sit down. "Garcon! La carte, s'il vous plait" and then I look into the eyes of my garcon. Those eyes............Anyway our food has arrived. French bread and camembert cheese. Lovely isn't it? We eat peacefully while Paris goes by. You know, there's more to France than just Paris. I heard Nice is nice. But I don't really know what is so nice about Nice but I bet it will be nice to visit Nice and when we do, it better be nice! The mountains of Provence and the ports of Brittany. I don't think we can do much in Champagne, I mean my tongue is naturally alergic to all things alcoholic. And the spoils of the Franco - Prussian war - Alsace and Lorraine. You can't miss beautiful and picturesque Cannes and you don't have to be Aishwarya Rai either. I think Biarritz is near the sea assuming that la plage is a beach. And I simply have to visit Castelfranc. Its gorgeous!! Maybe I'll get to see what a French chateau is like. And I have to see what exactly it is in Dijon that Hermione and Hagrid love so much and I will try some of that bouillablaise please. Now we have to tip the waiter too. They take 10-12%, the taxi drivers take 15%, the usherettes and the waitresses likewise. What to they take pourboire for? Pour boire? Honestly, people in Paris drink a lot! Meat with red wine, fish with white wine...........they drink so much wine!
We'll keep a day aside for une promenade. Yeah, start by entering the garden of Tuileries. We'll take a lot of pictures. You know, when I was little I thought that there was only one Victory Arch in Paris, but actually there are two. Du Carroussel is the one with the horses on top and De L' Etoile is the one which Napoleon started to commemorate some victory of his. So its only fitting to have some unknown World War I hero put to rest here. I think the Obelisque is one of Cleopatra's two needles. The other is in Washington by the Potomac river. I dislike Cleopatra very much. She made Marc Antony look like some foolish lackey! I won't have anyone treating him like that! And I would go on and on till my terribly patient, but now impatient partner shuts me up. Walking down Champs Elysees would be pretty romantic, don't you think? I heard this is where the Bastille Day Parade takes place. I hope to see it during our holiday and also Mardi Gras, whatever that is. I think its a huge public masquerade party with lots of costumes and glitter (I just found out it means "Fat Tuesday"!)
People would now classify the Eiffel Tower as one of romance's biggest cliches (poor Tom Cruise) but still it would be quite something to be on the third floor wouldn't it? Having a bird's eye view of Paris and assured that even if you fall from there, the man next to you would do anything in the world to save you (not that we're going to try it) What's a visit to France without French fries? I'm sure you get some on the third floor restaurant. And does anyone know where I can see a Savate match? It's French boxing. The Sacre Coeur of Montemarte has very interesting architechture. It looks to me like a fusion of Persian and European work. The French Pantheon is sadly a hall of fame of people and not gods like the one in Rome (darn!) but that won't stop me from visiting it. Why would they call the tomb of Napoleon Les Invalides? Beats me, but can you believe that he was scared of cats?
We have to spend a Sunday in Paris beacause we have to see Le Marche aux fleurs and he better have enough sense to buy me some flowers! Here we see the Notre Dame. It literally means Our lady. You know churches have that kind of names : Our Lady of the Lourdes....etc. Notre Dame has a funny structure. It kind of looks like a toy building block to me but I really wouldn't fancy my lifeless body to be displayed to the plebians from atop the bell tower while Quasimodo shouts "Sanctuary!!!" The Hunchback Of Notre Dame is quite a moving story. Esmeralda was a dimwit, Don was a lech, Quasimodo was a poor sweetheart, Phoebus was a jerk and Pierre was........Pierre (There are a lot of Pierres in France!) We had a lesson in school called "Fashion Mahanagar Paris" by Kanhayalal Nandan and our Hindi Teacher who has been to Paris told us that beggars gere have a very novel way of begging. They rather earn money for the talent they display than just accept charity. Maybe we could earn some too a la Mr. Bean (hee hee) She also said that the policemen in Paris are very helpful and very hot! So I'd go upto one and say,
Pardon monsieur l'agent, la place de la Concorde, s'il vous plait?
Prenez le metro. Vous avez une station a 100 metres d'ici, droit devant vous. Cite.
Merci Monsieur
Ok so it's a complete ripoff from the French text but hey that's the whole point of learning isn't it? I can even say a rhyme in French now : Savez vous planter les choux? (Do you know how to plant cabbages?)
Now stuff left to do : go to a fancy French restaurant with fancy name like Chez le Martin or something like that but I'm going to be pretty wary of the menu. They eat some strange food there. I may be an exotic eater but there is no way I'm eating escargots! Yuck! I'll just stick with a safe bifteck frites and how about some chocolat sorbet? Next we have to go to the Luxembourg garden where they will play the Hungarian Rhapsody. I just hope I'm not too old for the puppet theatre or playing in the pond! And........I'm not leaving without seeing Moulin Rouge - the only place you will love and be loved in return.......
Well, I don't smoke and I don't have a dog so I 'm fit to enter the post office. You have to send postcards right? Like :
Dear Ramu, wish you were here
Wait, you can't because you are a dog
And don't forget the Seine River cruise! I'm going to take pictures of us taken on each and every one of the thirty bridges of Pont Neuf
Well, time to leave. Now wasn't that a Tour De France?

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall

Tell me that I'm the fairest of them all
You know, I used to be real fair but now I'm all sunburnt. My arms are fair towards the shoulders but gradually darken as you move downwards but my palms and the underskin upto my elbows are the remnants of my natural colour. It's strange I tell you, my hands are almost variegated! My heels are also the last vestiges of my once upon a time fairness. My parents still remnicise about how white I was when I was born. I mean, I'm still fairer than my parents now but someday when I grow up and have lots and lots of money, I will go in for tan reduction treatment and THEN I 'll show you my true colours!!! (hee hee)
The natural kind of attraction acting on me is now nearing my ICSE percentage which is not good. I've gotta do something about it. I'm waiting for my aunt to come. Man, she'a fitness freak and she's very pretty. I'm hoping she could do something for me. She told me that I have a very pretty and sweet face (aww thank you!), I just need to work to bring it out.
You know, it's not that I haven't realised this before. I look into the mirror and if I photoshop my face in my mind, I really can see that I have a sweet face. Sometimes the trick is a strategic light source and a reflecting surface and your face can look like something out of a painting or a fashion magazine. It works best when your light source and preferably translucent reflecting surface are parallel to each other. In my father's house in Bangalore, the light rays from the window and the surface of the door are in the same plane, so that way the details of your face are not hidden much by the light. The door was brown and if I go up close to it, I can see my face but it's not really my face, it's like as if somebody did those smear paintings with oil of my profile against a brown background. It's really fascinating you know. Sometimes its an advantage to have two translucent surfaces, their planes perpendicular to each other. Take my book case and my window for example. And its very important that the light to be diffused otherwise the image looks just plain.......well, plain. The laundry hung outside to dry does the trick. In the window pane, you see your face in its complete purity and I'll admit my eyes looked a lot like a .......geisha's! But in the book case, you see a girl with her face half-hidden in the shadows and the other half turning towards the light, in a very enigmatic pose (ya, I do this in my spare time) Another method is to have your glass directly under a tubelight. Yes, it's not a diffused source but if the region beyond your glass is dark then you really have something here. So at 11:30 in the night, I like to stand in front of my glass balcony door and look at myself, imprinted on a dark canvas with light falling only on my face from somewhere above and my eyes really look good!
I would like to take this opprtunity to say how much I love Dove Shampoo! Its perfect! The only product which actually gives you the same results as the show in the ad. The quality of my hair's definitely improved and Harmeet told me you can make it softer my smoothing your hair out while shampooing. I'll have to say it works! Thanks, Aloo Gobi (hee hee) I always thought my hair was a slightly crappy version of Katrina Kaif's. My natural hairstyle is lot like her's in Namaste London minus the bangs. She is, after all, my identical hair twin. Priyanka Chopra has a winning smile. Mine needs a dental surgeon. Aishwarya Rai does have pretty eyes. I was never one for eye-makeup. I think my eyes look nice just the way they are. I'm not much for perfumes either but I love the Amitabh Bachchan Vaishnavi gave me for my birthday (on her birthday...) It smells so grown up! Thanks Vaish! No matter just how famous Christian Dior is and how much my mother loves it, I don't think its anything special. But I like Charlie Sunshine though, it really smells like bottled sunshine.
Now, just about every girl I've met told me I have amazing nails (thank you mother for the genes) although The Other One doesn't like to admit it because she sees green. Apart from using them for self defence, I like to flaunt them and the only brand worthy of gracing my assets is Maybelline. I LOVE MAYBELLINE!!! It's the best cosmetic brand ever. Their Ultimate Wear is well..ultimate. They don't dry up for at least 5-6 yrs. Their Colorama didn't impress me that much but I'm willing to try their new Colorama in "Mild to Wild shades" Their lipsticks are..oh my God. Wet Shine and Wet Shine Diamonds rule! Although they don't make them anymore, I've got enough of them to keep me going for a couple of years now (my mother really indulges me in these matters). And their new Shine Seduction looks real tempting. I know its crazy but I've always wanted to be a Maybelline model. You know I would saunter on screen trying to sell their products and a voice behind whispers "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe its Maybelline" Back home, Lakme is a pretty good brand as well. I would vouch for their lip gloss. And I've got a face powder that's almost as old as me but its still great, I haven't got a rash as yet. My skin is very sensitive (very!) I can feel even the tiniest ant crawling up a place with a paucity of nerve endings. Their nailpolishes are good during Fashion Week. Sabyasachi Mukherjee has good shades but you need 2-3 coats for a finish but the Manish Malhotra I'm wearing right now looks good with just one coat and is convenient to apply at even 11:40 last night. Oh and their nail polish removers are the best. And believe me I use a lot of it. I'm not exactly very skilled in the usage of these products because I use them very rarely. I bet even a chimpanzee can apply lipstick more skillfully than me (ok I'm being harsh on myself) but I really need to enroll in "How To Put On Make Up" classes.
But what is the use of all this pancake mix? It's ultimately the inner beauty that matters. My mother almost yells at me for my lack of enthusiasm for cosmetics (except when its Maybelline) and dressing up. You don't even change your earrings!, she says. Well I'm pretty comfortable with my present ones, thank you. I've got a sizable designer jewellery wardrobe and a ridiculous amount of blue jewellery (I love blue). I'm more into silver, platinum and oxidised metal. I cannot stand gold unless its from D'Damas. No one can make magic with gold the way Italians can! (with proper accent) I use them for special occasions only so excuse me for not being like my 8 year old cousin for who has to carry a vanity purse and wear eyeliner and lipstick (orange, yuck!) and dress all meretriciously even if she's going out to the shop next door.
So this post look likes something I can give to a fashion magazine but all I want to say is that it's not wrong to dress up. It's only natural to want to look good. And it's everyone's right irrespective of how they really are. You really need to feel beautiful on the inside. So for all those girls out there like me........I just want to say that, go by what my aunt said :
You have a pretty face. You just need to work to bring it out

I'm beautiful,
I'm beautiful,
I'm beautiful,
It's true!

Heil Fuhrer

Someday I'll be a great artist, Mother.
And what a performance he staged for the entire world. Everybody would wait with bated breath to watch his next act. The villain of the story of World War II whom we know as Adolf Hitler. Devil incarnate? Lucifer's own blood? Not very flattering descriptions can be made about him. I'm a huge follower of war history, especially World War II. Their aviation techniques, the slump in world economy, political masquerades, everything but their was something about the Nazis which held my interest.
Adolf wanted to grow up to be an architect but he failed his entrance exam. He should have studied better, shouldn't he? He served as a soldier in the German army during World War I. Germany lost and was subjected to the humiliation dictated by the treaty of Versailles. According to The History Channel documentary, Hitler's superior in the army was a Jew, who according to him made really lousy battle plans which could have lead to Germany's surrender and that may have planted the sapling of hatred against Jews in his mind, because Hitler held Germany's leaders and not her people for this mess. Kaiser William fled the country and the Weimer Republic was a national disgrace. German mentality refused to let the people accept democracy, they believed in letting one man decide what was the best for the nation. And Hitler strove to be that man.
He began by giving speeches in small cafes and gradually formed the Nazi party with a group of disbanded, unemployed soldiers. He preached hatred against the Jews and blamed them for the deterioration of the nation. He sort of reminds me of Nero in this respect. Nero blamed the Christians for the decline of the Roman Empire but he was a barmy old lunatic. Hitler was way better in my opinion. Atleast he didn't torch 2/3rds of the city to make room for a new palace. But the building where the Reichstag was holding a meeting did catch fire....Hmmmm.........Well the Nazi party did have their own army and their duty was to break up meetings of other parties. I wonder if that was one of their "methods" Another Italian I would like to compare him to - Benito Mussolini. You don't hear much about him, do you? I bet people don't want to know much about him either because his biography costs Rs 750 while Mein Kampf costs only Rs. 135. But he was one of the dictators during the war (his biography describes him as a buffoon on the jacket [hee hee]) What atrocities he committed, I have no idea. My History Textbook doesn't say much and he's not even a pop culture icon but he did say that "If I advance, follow me. If I retreat, kill me. If I die, avenge me" Well, when Italy surrendered, he was murdered by the people on the street and his dead body was hung from the roof of a petrol bunk. My, they really took his words to heart, didn't they?
The Nazi Party got a majority in the Parliament (why wouldn't they? they certainly "took care" of all the other parties) Hindenburg had to appoint Hitler as Chancellor and when he died, Hitler combined the office of the President and the Chancellor and assumed the title of Fuhrer. Power turned him loony. The commander of the disbanded soldiers (his first supporter and a very good friend) who were the first Nazis demanded that the soldiers be allowed to return to the army but Hitler refused. They fell out and Hitler had him shot in a bunker and then addresses the soldiers explaining his action saying that "he was plotting to kill him" and then in his honour, moved the soldiers back to the army anyway. Loony, I tell you.
Another problem of his was that he sort of had a superiority complex, in my opinion. He believed the Aryan race to be superior and he was against intermixing because he felt it would lead to the degradation of the race. He had his officers sent to far-off places like Tibet to trace the roots. Mind you, the other half of the Aryan race ie. we Indians were being eyed by Germany apart fom the fact that we were a British colony and wantedly or unwantedly, a supporter of the Allies. They even started laying train lines from Baghdad to India!!
Hitler hated Jews, we know that. So what was "The Final Solution to the Jewish Problem?" Concentration Camps. Auschwitz, Bergen-Belsen, Dachau...trains loaded with Jews were sent here to rot, to suffer, to die. So what was probably the worst thing that happened at these camps?
* Have Jewish filmakers shoot films depicting just how happy the Jews were at these camps and then shoot them (Hitler did want to be an arist......)
* Be forced into slave labor and ultimately die of malnutrition.
* Pushed into mass graves and shot
* Be subjected to medical experiments. [One survivor tells us about how two twins were experimented upon and came back sewed to each other, back to back, with the wounds still oozing of pus. Their mother fed them morphine so that they could die in peace]
* Death marches to another camp. Death because if you fell behind or stopped , you would be killed
* Death squadrons where some people were selected everyday to be fired at or hang by the rope
* Thrown into the furnace alive if you failed to retrieve the valuable possessions from the dead bodies and hand it to the Nazi officers.
or...........................................
* Arrive at the camp by train and be swept into a neat reception area and be told that coffee is waiting for you in the lounge but you had to take a bath first so you are given soaps, towels, toothbrushes and taken to a sauna room where the door is shut and poison gas is released
Liberation of these camps by the Allies was probably like the call of heaven for the inmates. The Holocaust survivors had a gruesome story of their own to tell. There is one such person who lives in Australia, I think. He was an ex-Nazi officer. And he is a Jew. Yes, he was Hitler's personal favourite, more like Nazi's poster boy. Such stories really make me want to laugh in Hitler's dead face. Tough luck, mate. You don't always get what you want. Fate's bound to play pranks on you some day. He saved himself from public humiliation by consuming cyanide capsules. Well, I bet you didn't suffer even a fraction of the torture you put the Jews through.
So, why did I make this post more into a History lesson? Well, first because I'm a History buff but I also wanted to share my views on the man the world wished was never born. He wanted to be the pride of Germany but I'm sure her head sinks in shame when he is mentioned. Anything mentioned with reference to the Nazis now creates an international ruckus. Take Carla Bruni likening a tabloid to a Nazi - run press. The Nazis did something worthwhile. They provided the jobless with work and uplifted economy and set up a new education system.........which turned the Germans into blind stooges of the Nazis.
But nobody's born evil. Hitler was only a man who loved his country more than himself. I'm not supporting him or anything and I know most people think he is beastly but I think there were some human elements in him. Whatever he did, he did it because he thought it was the best for Germany. It was almost selfless, it was patriotic. When he was a young soldier, he would sketch to kill time. Human trait.....And he thought that Snow White was the best movie ever! (well Snow White wasn't a Jew and I think the Grimm Brothers were German) Of course, he also thought that Charlie Chaplin's aim was world domination (hey did you ever notice that both their moustache styles are somewhat similar?) So Adolf Hitler, devil incarnate?? Hmmm.....more like a maniacal patriot

What is the world coming to? (part 2)

Ever felt helpless when something annoyed you?? There are some things-petty things yes but still-that need to be taken care of...Don't know what I'm talking about? Well this will clear things up...

Ahem

5 things I'd like to change if I had the power to do so in no particular order (mind it I'm not talking about stuff like poverty, disease and hunger)

1) People honk way too much....In no other country do people honk this much and for no apparent reason. I mean you're stuck in a traffic jam right...and there are people honking! Hello how will it help if you honk ya morons? The vehicles aren't gonna evaporate! I mean they just take extreme pleasure in blowing our ears out- I say fine every idiot who honks for no reason...or better yet take a horn and blow it really loud in his ear- that oughta show em.

2) Misspelled signs. Spotted at an std booth- "We are not respose for trump calls" (I say what is a trump call?)Seen those bandis?- "Chaines fast food" or something to that effect...And the most annoying signs have to be the ones on walls- u know- "Do not pass urine hear"- lol ewwwwwww! But u kno i was thinking most of the people who do their business there are probably illiterate so how would they know what the heck is written on the wall??

3) Auto drivers are the most annoying people on earth! 50 bucks from lifestyle to central! Sasur ki shaadi hai kya? Too much baap...they just refuse to use the new meters and if they have the old ones then anyway u end up paying some fantastic sum for a short distance...Menace I tell ya!

4)Awright STOP writing about Britney Spears and Paris Hilton- jeez I know more about their lives than my friends'..poor britney has gone cuckoo and still the media won't leave her alone and that paris is just out for attention-most pathetic person I ever heard of- don't even know why she is a celebrity. The bits in the paper about hollywood actors are the lamest bits of gossip ever..."Lindsay spotted with Paris' ex but denies that they are going out" - um hello maybe she's telling the truth? " so and so likes meeting guys in grocery store"; somebody out of rehab, somebody in, rumoured sex tapes blah blah there's no end...sounds like a jungle out there!

5)People spit everywhere!!! AARGH! It irritates me no end! Hack cough spit sneeze...everything on the road like it's their father's house! That way I admire the singaporeans- you should see the roads there- soooo clean and cars actually wait for you if you want to cross the road..OMG. I've seen such road hogs in Hyd it's amazing... nobody wants to wait, they all want to go first and hence we have a traffic jam. Oh yeah and people throw whatever they want on the roads too...like the city is just one gigantic dustbin and when asked not to do so they reply" why? Everybody does it!" Well you're a part of "everybody" too! Someone's gotta stop right?

Don't get me wrong folks- I love my India of course I do....but some things really annoy me....and it seems like one can hardly find an honest person in this country from the bandas on the road to the high up politicians...sigh...Here's hoping that we have a brighter tomorrow...

Leave, Please Or Please Leave?

A chemist in my father's office went on leave for five days without informing anyone. When he came back, my father asked him why he didn't tell anybody about it and asked him to write a leave letter. I was very impressed with what he wrote and decided to put it up here as his letter really sets the standards for how a corporate leave letter should be written
Here is the letter exactly as it is and in no way reflects upon my writing skills

Lee Pharma Ltd.
Date : 27.11.07
To
Respected Sir,

Dear Sir My name is P. Sateesh Kumar. I am - working as a Production Chemist in - F - Block Module to I have my parents immidiatly call to me. my grandmother helth is very seriously - So Because I am not inform to before you. I am - Extreemly sorry. please kindly leave for the '5' - days. Thanking you Sir

Yours faithfully.
P. Sateesh Kumar
Chemist
F - Block
Module - II

Nice isn't it?

V for Valentine!!

I opened the paper today morning and surprise surprise!! HEARTS everywhere. Jeeeez. I groaned and turned the page- well whaddya know more hearts!! "The perfect valentine's day gift !" "This valentine, show her that you care!" GAG!! Who started this anyway? I suppose it was that ole St. Valentine. Yeah I know loads of people love this day- they wait for it with anticipation and all but I'm not exactly feeling very kindly toward him right now... Makes me feel like saying "Bah! Humbug" (yes i know that's related to christmas but I think it pretty much fits here). What about those of us who are not in a "relationship"?? Man, we're getting a raw deal ! Didn't think about us now did you Valentine ole chap?

WE have to watch all the cuteness everywhere, give up reading the paper today because it's so valentiney, even messaging rates are up to one buck-rip off i tell ya....the horoscope thingy in the paper-that's also on love and lame things like what to buy your aquarian girlfriend.....I mean puhhhleeeez I checked out virgo and it said liquer chocolates or a topaz ring!! Well I'm a virgo and if my guy tried to buy me that i'd think he was touched in the head. What's wrong with regular chocolates and a diamond ring huh??? Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend for nothing. They're so pretty and shiney:) Topaz-eurgh:(

Valentine specials on the telly too-but not a SINGLE good movie- no kidding...I'd have atleast taken that as compensation for having to go through this day. Well I have come to the conclusion that this day sucks and it is just a gimmick to sell stuff. Shops and their lame Valentine specials.

If you love your girlfriend- tell her that everyday, buy her something whenever you feel like, take her out, make her feel special...and that's the way it should work...Why all this natak??

Oh world when will you learn??

P.S- Might not be blogging too often now folks-stupid exams.

What Is This World Coming To?

And I thought that the world could get no crazier.
The authorities are still debating over whether the bullet or the hitting the roof killed Benazir Bhutto. Who cares?????? She's dead all the same and ascertaining the cause of her death won't bring her back! Now the latest Bhutto personality is her niece, Fatima Bhutto who believes that she is the heir of PPP & is trying to push poor Bilawal in the background, saying he isn't the right person for the job. Look, you may not like your aunt and that's all fine and dandy but please, the poor boy's got enough on his plate already and doesn't need your brickbats
Another speculation as to how someone died. Did Heath Ledger commit suicide or was it a fatal combo of medicines? His funeral was held in Perth a few days ago. Michelle Williams was there. She put her filming on hold to mourn him. Well, what is the use, frankly? You know you may very well have been the cause for his suicide, if it was one in the first place.
Celebrities are a strange set of people. They keep talking about some Amy Winehouse these days, a troubled British singer. Golly, where do they crop up from? And everytime I see the same photo of hers, the black dress, tattoos and that Goth make-up and would you believe that she was wearing the exact same thing at her satellite Grammy performance?? Look, I know you won 5 Grammy's and everything and you are going through a rough patch, but it would help if you changed your dress once in a while. Gemma Atkinson has now moved from the Sports page to the Entertainment page. How annoying!!! Daniel Radcliffe just broke up with his girlfriend. I didn't even know he had one in the first place!! Somebody named Laura who couldn't put up with his demanding schedule. And imagine we had to listen to Emma Watson go on about how boys find her intimidating etc. but that Drucker dude cheated on her anyways (can you believe she drank champagne at a French Riviera on a date?)
Last Sunday, I was sitting alone on the steps of St. Mary's during break time when an old lady came upto me with a prescription in her hand. Dejavu?? You bet!!! She wasn't merely asking me help for reading the prescription. No, she was asking me to fund it as she kept showing me her waist and mumbled something about cancer. I tried to brush her way politely by saying "Telugu radu" but I was bogged down by my own sentiments and thoughts which I had penned down here a few days ago and I handed her Rs.10. Did she really have cancer? I can't tell. This is the state we have come to. Genuinity is very hard to detect. I know this is unconnected but I can't help remembering one beggar boy in Sindhi Colony who had his little brother with him. When someone gave him an apple, he promptly gave it to his little brother to eat without even looking at it. This is my India.........
And it is this India that the Chinese want to devour!!!! Arunachal Pradesh is a part of our country, they say. Yeah right!!! The gods must be crazy in China!!! (oooh good one!) As it is, we are having border troubles with Pakistan and we don't need you to add to them. So as a sign of protest, I'm going to give up eating Chinese food. I was never crazy about it in the first place. Its so.....ubiquitous! Its everywhere! Road-side stalls, 5-star hotels...so giving up is not going to be hard, except maybe for momos. I LOVE MOMOS!!! But I never really thought of it as a Chinese dish. Hence I hereby declare momos to be a part of Bengali cuisine. There, how do you like that? That'll teach you to take something that's not yours!!!
To divorce or to not divorce, that is the question. No. The question is : when did I marry her in the first place? The Malik-Siddiqui was is still on in full force and I'm finding it hard to take a stand. Malik's words are starting to sound convincing and people don't drag one to court just for fun now do they? Well, the city is now talking about how Malik cheated Ayesha and I'm talking about how auto wallahs cheated me! They tamper even with electric meters for heavens sake!!!!!!!!!!
But everything is not so bad. I now officially approve of Brangelina. I realise now that Angelina is far from just an attractive face. She's a good person at heart and she really wants to make a difference in this world. She and Brad saved a kid from being stampeded the other day and that's why she now trumps Jennifer Anniston. But just legitimise things by getting married please! Then everything would be truly nice!

Top 10 Crazy Things I've Done In My Life

How All American Girl - ish! Anyway, here we go!

10. Going down a water slide knowing perfectly well that I can't swim and might drown. Well....I did drown
9. Inventing a game which involved you to hug a pillar 5 times and also a new language where "shosha" meant sing, when I was 7
8. Sticking a knife into myself at a restaurant to see if I would bleed like on T.V. Relax! the knife was blunt...although I did ask my aunt menacingly which knife was sharper
7. Cutting the cake on my 4th birthday and then sticking the knife in my mouth to lick the cream off and in the process, cutting my lip. Boy, I sure love knives don't I?
6. Snatching money from the hand of an uncle named (sigh) The Frump. Coincidence, isn't it? The Fates can be so cruel!!!!
5. Picking up a roshogolla from the plate of one of my guests when I was 5. What? He offered it to me! That was the only day when my father screamed at me.
4. Yelling at a theater full of people in the middle of a movie in Delhi. They were laughing...I couldn't hear the dialogues!
3. Seeing a cockroach in the bathroom and losing my head and tongue, ran out of there screaming "THERE'S A CHOCOLATE IN THE BATHROOM!!!!"
2. Wiping myself with a door mat thinking it was a towel at a 5 star hotel in Agra. It was white and fluffy, ok!! and it was all folded up and placed neatly near the bathtub. What was I to think????

And the number one craziest thing I've done in my life is....................

1. The unspeakably stupid thing I did in Kolkata. I know, I know. It was crazy, it was dumb. The full impact of it is hitting me now and making me cringe. Would it help in my defence if I said that I had fever then and I needed to entertain myself and that the delirium drove me to do this?

MENTAL NOTE : I do strange things in other cities (mind the pun)

P.S. Today is Charles Dickens' birthday and tomorrow is you know who's!!!

Unknown Faces, Known Pain

Why is it that some people have fantastic, fabulous lives and others have wretched lives? Is it really fair to anyone of us? What gives other people the right to mistreat and look down upon others? You see all this cruelty from far and shame the wrongdoers but the next day, knowingly or unknowingly, you might be one of them.
In a third world country like India, poverty is one of the major problems. You see beggars everywhere and I really feel sorry for them. Of course, some of them might just be pretending to be sick and handicapped, like one beggar at NTR Circle who faked Parkinson's Disease to garner sympathy. When the vehicles stop, he shakes his head uncontrollably. When they drive off, his head is rod - straight. There is also another one at Paradise Circle who has only one leg and uses crutches. He hires an auto everyday to go to work and in the evening takes an auto back home after finishing his duty. Another way of getting money is by using children. It's really one form of emotional blackmail. A little girl has been coming to our college to beg for the last few days. Her name is Sapna and I see her being shooed away, ignored or made fun of by the more fortunate ones. I wish I could do something for these beggars. But there is a feeling of guilt because this is my parent's money. So I plan to do something when I stand on my own two feet and I hope this feeling stays because people say one thing whern they are kids and grow up to do quite something else. I remember crying once when I was little because my father refused to give a beggar money and now sometimes I pass by indifferently in front of their empty palms. Things are so much complicated now, you don't even know who deserves to be given money or not. Some of these beggars pull faces when I give them a coin and behave as if I did them a favour while some even harass you for more but some accept the alms graciously and bless you profusely. I particularly rememeber a beggar at Lifestyle crossing. He had no legs. I gave him a coin and he smiled so sweetly and went off and made me marvel at how happy he can be in his wretchedness. That really touched me. At times, just after refusal, my conscience haunts me until I set out the find the one I rejected and give him his due but there are some faces that are lost in the crowd forever and I cannot find them again because I let go of the chance to help them like the old fakir in my colony, the old man, near my mother's office, who looked like Santa Claus and the old lady near my school who only asked me to read out her prescription as she couldn't understand it. Their faces come to me at times and I feel really awful
Another face that I will remember is that little boy in Agra. He sold imitation jewellery for a living. He cornered me once and tried to sell his wares. I tried to brush him away politely at first but he kept insisting and in the end after a lot of bargaining and pleading, I bought a pair of earrings from him for Rs. 10. By then, my aunt was calling me from the car. He asked me to buy another one but I had to leave. As I sat in the car, I thought, would I really had been at a loss if I had purchased more of his earrings? No. I wouldn't. The money that lay idle in my purse would have meant a lot to that little boy. Well, I did help him in a tiny way, but I wish I could have done more. Sometimes I pray that Agra's little soul has a better life than what he has been given.
You don't have to be poor for someone to mistreat you or misunderstand you. At Yelahanka station, when we were waiting for the train to arrive, I saw a man standing really close to me and staring at me. I moved away thinking he was a lech and my father yelled at him. It was only later that both of us realised he was blind, when he tottered about with his stick, asking people if his train had arrived. My father felt really bad and so did I. I wanted to apologise to him but couldn't find the courage. Either he didn't hear what my father said or he was just used to it. Take New Year for example. I went with my parents and aunt to Blue Fox for dinner. The hotel people had hired a professional singer to serenade the customers. He went form table to table hoping that someone would ask him to play but people either ignored him or obliged in a very condescending way. I heard him sing and play. He was very good. But people here do not recognise talent or the dignity of labour, no matter in what form it is. More recently, we went out again to 100 Degrees. There we saw a noisy, obnoxious family with three kids who had brought their maid along to sheperd them. They made her sit outside while they feasted inside. I saw the threshold that separated the rich and the poor and also the humane and the barbaric. They could have jolly well left her out. Atleast she wouldn't be subjected to the torture of seeing all that she couldn't have right in front of her eyes.
There are different forms of cruelty, yes. You don't have to be an evil looking, hirsute gorilla spouting catchy dialogues to be a villain. But the world is not completely without saints. I don't aspire to be one but I hope I can do something for all those people whose suffering made me cry and remember them

Penning the Pedagogues - 5

College is now officially over and hence I am obliged to write the last in this series

Initiation (Physics) : I think his name is Amit, I'm not so sure. He was OK as a teacher, besides Kinematics is not a very hard chapter to teach. But the freaky part is that he looked a lot like Tom Riddle and he also carried a diary around. Gasp!!!

Initiation (Maths) : I don't know his name but he was Bengali for sure. I could make out by his accent. He taught Permutations and Combinations really well and he was nice and soft-spoken

Kunal Biswas (Physics) : Another Bengali. He kinda looked like Yogi Bear but I've never seen him hankering after a picka-nik basket. He also lisped a little. But he was smart, that I can say. He was a good teacher too, only he did the same things in different methods which was confusing and his class kind of got sluggish at times. But he did teach us that pouring a drop of water in Hussain Sagar will not make it overflow and cows cannot be added to dinosaurs.

Srinivas (Maths) : Creepy guy!!!! Creepy, Creepy, CREEPY!!!! Had a bald patch and looked weird and couldn't manage a single day without that stupid file of his. He came from Delhi to teach "the top two batches" of the afternoon slot (poor guy [not him], how he must have suffered for a year and he didn't even know it) but it was Delhi who booted him out finally. Enjoyed screaming at me and Apu and some guys too, but was particularly fond of a guy named Srinivas (hmm.....I wonder why?) Lech......pulled my uniform in front of Vijay to explain that just as how my uniform feels new to me, locus will also be new to me. Ugh!!! Creepy!

Neelesh (Physics) : Delhi gave him the boot too. Thye weird thing is, in the holidays I had some nightmares about being in A03 and I dreamt that he was teaching us and so I walk in first day and I see him actually teaching us!!!! ESP or what?? (Can I have my own psychic hotline now?) He liked to speak mostly in Hindi and he confused me even more than Kunal. Him and his Wheat-es-stone Breej. He finds jockeys very funny (don't ask) and had strange eyes but perfect teeth. Lekin jaate-jaate mera integration to sudhar ke gaya

Srinivas (English) : Boy, there are a lot of Srinivases in this world. But I liked to call him LameBob Tightypants. He liked to act as if he was all that but he wasn't. His pronunciation was weird and even though he can rattle off all the rules of grammar and has a bazillion certificates from God knows which institutes but he still doesn't get a certificate from me for his yoo-yes. Dweeb. Yes, you!!! But apart from all this he was nice

S.K. Rajesh (Chemistry) : Oh he's a damn good teacher! Very methodical and efficient. Stickler for rules, yes, but its for our own good otherwise my workbooks would have never been complete. Yeah, he used to make us stay back and do it but he always let the girls off in half an hour (hee hee). He really cares about his students. He charts their indivdual progress and encourages them and gives tips to improve and work harder (heck, he's the only one who talks during PTMs) He is very much in command. Oooh..you don't want to get on his wrong side. He doesn't yell but that soft, dangerous whisper and woe be you, if he resorts to THE SMILE, is enough to make your hair stand on its end. But he has a sense of humour too, sarcastic one, actually. He picks on the guys a lot and maybe that's why some of them resent him. Sigh! Boys and their stupid prejudices. All he wanted for them is to "come forward in life" and Anil to recap last class' concepts. Poor Aniline! (hee hee) Probably dreaded Chem periods. But I'm above all that, except for the fact that he called me Ghosh Roy at first (you don't call a lady by her last name!) but I still say he's a good teacher

Ramesh Babu (Maths) : WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!! (falling on knees and bending forward periodically with hands in air : Salami, Salami, Baloney). This dude is Math Lord!!! And he's cool too! Wher do you find a teacher like that????!!!! Any topic he just teaches it like as if its nothing! He gives really useful notes too. His classes were really fun. He had a mostly perverted sense of humour. What better way than to connect with a bunch of 16 year olds? He loved Vinayak...oh yes, Vinayak finally found his Master Sahab (ICSE students...get it?) Such moments are better documented in a separate post. "Tujhe Dekha" rocks! I love his ringtone. Havn't met a single person who does not like him (except for Raman, bully you!) Dislikes wearing ties but has an amazing dress sense. Dislikes writing spellings of big words too. Tried to be strict with us once but got laughed in the face. We can ask him "kocchens" anytime but he is a little busy, yaar! A little lazy and a slacker, he's worse than a pampered starlet. But he is very motivational - "If you don't do homework at 16, what do you do yaar?" Golly Sir, don't get us started! (hee hee) You rock!!!

Laik Ali (Maths) : A sad, sad, sad sucessor to the Lord. He gives methodical notes but his teaching aint great. His sense of humour sucks big time. Tried to pull a Babu once - "What are you doing with each other in the last bench?" and when he gets laughed at, "Arre, why do you take wrong meanings of everything?" Well, what are we supposed to understand from your moochooallies and your genooains? You're not normal! And no, you are not tangent either (paying you back in the same coin) It's a wonder I didn't send something flying at him all year. His comments are also better off listed in a separate post. Can't believe I was scared of him at first. And why are my sentiments for Kolkata your headache? I don't like him one bit.

Nagaraj (Chemistry) : He taught me during the Initiation Phase. A lackadaisical person, if there ever was one. He doesn't like A03. Someone told me he dislikes A01. He can't stand A07 either. My, doesn't he have sunshine in his life! Half the days I can't make out if he is clean shaven or not. He's a good teacher but he makes everything so boring in that toneless, droning voice of his, which he raise sometimes to say "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYE!!!" His fingers are very pointy and he's got a Hitch-hiker's thumb (learnt it while researching on Genetics) Expressionless too. But he is full of simpool eggjampools and has this annoying habit of coining new abstract nouns such as strongness and specificity. Strange sense of humour. What is periodic acid? Boiling the elements of periodic table and distilling them. Aaaye!! What you are saying? (point point)

P.K. Dash (Physics) : He's our Principal too. I didn't like him at first because he told Rachina's mum that both of us talk a lot and he had the same thing to say to my mum also during PTM but he's an amazing teacher. He teaches the fundamentals very clearly and everything becomes bherry bherry eechi. Of course, he can be a little scary at times with the whole bald and tubby demeanour but otherwise he's kinda cute (hee hee) I'm sure I'm going to remember his teaching for a long time like when a table and chair collides, chair does not turn into parrot and table doesn't become goat (what is it with Physics teachers and animals?) and oh, PHEEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gopalkrishna (English) : Meet BobBob Fancypants, His English is better than his predecessor but he is a jumpy little racoon. He just doesn't shut up!!! Of course, he likes me...which English teacher wouldn't? but his voice is as pleasing as nails being dragged along the blackboard. He pretends to be full posh but that's just a load of tosh (see Sir? Rhyme!)

Verma (French) : I definitely need a separate post for him but to cut a long story short and give you a preface, he's a weirdo, utterly sexist, demented and loony. He knows everything! Sure. But he's quite lenient until he is seized by temporary madness. But I'll have to admit he's a very good French teacher pour maintenant je parle francais tres bien. Oui, Oui.

SPECIAL MENTION

Ajay Tripathi (Substitute Chemistry) : Young dude. Has a profile on bharatmatrimony.com and is all cool and stuff supposedly but I'm very unimpressed
Atul Tripathi (Substitute Physics) : Supposedly a lech. Maybe...good teacher? Ok. Dimwit? Yes.
Me : Cough Cough Sneeze Wheeze
Him : I think you are not well?
You think? Gee, whatever gave you that idea?
Manoj (Substitute Physics) : Manoj (disdain again) I think I've said enough about him.
D.J. (Substitute Physics) : He's supposed to be good but first year Physics had me so strung out I didn't get a chance to judge him properly. I heard he liked him a lot (I ask you who wouldn't? Too many people, infact. Waaah!!!! I dislike competition)
Raman (Substitute Maths) : Scares the hell out of me. Too scared to concentrate in class. His "tcch arre!" is enough to give me a nervous breakdown. He shakes his hip a lot and pokes his nose in places where it doesn't belong.

Damodar (Physics Practicals) : Sneaky little stool pigeon who is dead scared of Dash. Likes to overact at times and loves to flick people's cellphones but one smouldering look from Harsha is enough to set him right (Yay Harsha!) Loves to make fun of Mohan Krishna. Poor Chitti Papu. His advice for our practical exams : ekdum jhakaas dikhna chahiye
Sudhakar (Chemistry Practicals) : Burette Uncle is nice. He was there for me from the day I got admitted. He's patient and nicer and plays it cool

Arun : I like him. He's sweet to me and he's the only person in the whole of FIITJEE to pronounce my name right
Waghray : I like him and then I don't like him. Depends on how he behaves. But it gives me satisfaction that I made his daughter dance to my tunes once
Sarita : Miss "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me" is the object of adolescent adulation of atleast half the male student population. Lady, you have nice dress sense but tone down your make-up, you look like a vamp.
Ibrahim : I still can't figure out what his designation is but I'm sure FIITJEE won't be able to function a single day without him
Notice Guy : I don't know his name but I always look forward to his visits. Bring us more notices for holidays please! (don't listen to Harsha's groans)
And finally.......................
The Watchmen of FIITJEE : One question - Is blowing the whistle one of the perks of your job?

He Died And Left Me This Heath........

Today, I devote this post to Heath Ledger. It's not a entirely an entry about how much I like him, but more of an obituary. He committed suicide at 28, on January 22, 2008. He went away too young. I can't say I knew him personally but I don't know why I feel so terrible. Is this what girls my age felt like when James Dean died? I even feel bad that I never wrote his name in the Favourite Actor slot in any slam book! I haven't seen many of his movies but I've seen a part of A Knight's Tale. It was damn good.

William : You're just a silly little girl with a flower!

Jocelyn : Well, I'd rather be a silly little girl with a flower than a silly little boy with a stick. Why don't you like flowers?

William : You can't eat them, they are of no use and they smell

Jocelyn : If you want to prove that you love me, then you will lose today's match William : You're mad!

(At the match)

He charges forward and then stops after sometime and lets the opposing knight bludgeon him with his lance

Bill from STILL STANDING : What are you doing?

English Guy : Are you mad?

William (sighing) : Jocelyn wants me to prove my love for her by losing this match

English Guy : I'd rather have you blind

(When he is getting his arm bandaged)

Jocelyn's Maid : Jocelyn wants you to..................

William : I know, I know. If I love her, then I will lose every match for her

Jocelyn's Maid : No...........If you love her, then you will win every match for her

William : Women!

(The Next Day)

English Guy : There she is, as radiant as the sun. Fight for her. Fight for the one you love

William : Oh, I hate her!

(Later)

Jocelyn : Oh you poor thing! This is all my fault

William : Yes. It is.

All this while, my wanting to watch Brokeback Mountain was for Jake Gyllenhaal, but after seeing this movie, I had a new reason : Heath. He was supposed to play Joker in the new Batman movie. It's going to release this year. And I will watch it out of due respect for him (and the fact that I love Batman!) Some day, I will watch all of his movies. His new one, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnessus (did I get the title right?) was stopped midway. Since it's a fantasy movie, they're planning to make his character change form and bring in Johnny Depp Quite a few articles about him in the paper today. Like how the name Heath was unlucky as it is reminiscent of Heathcliff who had a tragic end and no luck with Catherine, as did Heath with Michelle Williams. This also reminds me of Catherine, who was a Heath Ledger fan, in All Ameican Girl by Meg Cabot (who by the way, wrote a very disgusting sequel to such a nice book) Did you know Mary Kate Olsen was a good friend of his? Strange! I can't stand her. Britney Spears doesn't think he's gone and that "he's around here" But I can see her following him down the same path. Fame comes at a heavy price and it cost him his life. I still can't explain why is it that I feel so bad. It's not even the kind of feeling I felt when I learned about Marlon Brando's death which came as a shock to me because I thought he was already dead! So think of just how many days I lost of him not being dead while I was thinking he was dead (make sense?) Here's to one talented actor who would have one day made it big and also in my Favourite Actor's list

Rest in peace, Heath............................

The Heartbreaker

Walkin' down the street
I see ya lookin' at me
I smile to myself-I know what you're thinking
I know it aint gonna be
But I can't resist winking



I hum to myself
Knowing you've fallen for me
But girl it aint that easy
You're not the one for me
It's not you, ya see



Coz I'm a heartbreaker
It makes me feel good
To see that look in your eyes
You adore me, You can't ignore me
So I'm gonna have some fun....



"Looking good today, girl".
With a blush and a smile you're mine
You're not the only one
Get in the line
You're not the girl for me



I, Myself and Me
We live in harmony
Don't you even think
You'll ever be as important to me
As me, No way honey!!



Coz i'm a heartbreaker
It makes me feel good
To see that look in your eyes
You think that i'm so fine, oh so divine
So let me have some fun....

Who's that I see,
She aint even looking at me!
She's got someone else(and many more)
Why does that make me sore?
Is she the one for me?



I'm sorry girl but I,
Have found someone my type
She's just what i wanted
So when the time was ripe
I asked her out, yeah



Please don't be mad
Try not to despise
I see it in your eyes
And I kinda feel bad
But what can I do, ya see



Coz I'm a heartbreaker
It makes me feel good
To see that look in your eyes
I see the hurt pride, I took you for a ride
Sorry girl, was just having some fun....

You know you are.............

So here we stand, in our secret place
The sound of the crowd is so far away

I wouldn't say its secret but there is a special place and it is very calm and quiet and peaceful. And what happened there will perhaps happen only once. People wear different faces everyday. He wore one one that day and so did I. And you know what? That combination worked pretty well. I barely recognise him now. I guess everyone's prone to fallacies of the human temperament, so I guess I shouldn't think much about it.

So lets take tonight and never let go
We're dancing this evening like there's no tomorrow

Nope, not letting go but not trying to hold on to it tightly either. I heard somewhere that the more you try to hold on to sand, the more it trickles away. So I'm going to let that impression in the sand stay undisturbed. Oh and I don't dance. I don't think he does either. They're just the song lyrics.

And I'll treasure this moment
Till we meet again

When I met him again after such a long time, my initial impression of him remained. I wouldn't look him in the face, behaved as if he were the dust of my feet, played hide and seek and loads of other crazy, cooked up supposedly ego issues I had. Time passed and everything turned upside down. Traits I hated changed into traits I liked. If someone told me at the time of our first meeting that in the near future it would be like this, I would have probably said "Later, dude!!! You don't know what you're talking about! That's virtually impossible" The Fates really know how to pull the strings, don't they? But I guess I was always fascinated by him from the start. He was so........Darcy! And the funny part is.........I really like Darcy. I don't know when we'll meet again but till then, the etchings in the sand continue to grow.

But no matter how far or where you may be
I just close my eyes and you're in my dreams

That's how it all started. Dreams. It was really kind of like some wake up call or something. I had no idea what my sub-conscious was trying to say but I hope my interpretations were right. I've been having weird dreams lately. I think I haven't been eating properly. He's in them, his face exactly as I remember it, slouched against the wall with the smile on his face. Sometimes they are downright cruel but otherwise there was always something nice about them.

I'll always look back as I walk away
It's here we will last for eternity

I walk away. I turn and look back sometimes. And I turn away again. I've never looked him in the eye till now, even if I did, it was just fleeting. He has a piercing gaze, searching right through you. And I know that if he does look, he'll know. I don't want him to know. It's best it remains this way. You know, just passing by him in those hallowed halls. It's a cycle that'll repeat itself everyday in reality and fantasy.

But until that day...............you.........know you are
The.............

No I'm not going to say it because saying it will mean I'm admitting to it but I don't want to....now. It's not the time for these kind of things anyway. I've got my life's most important exam a few months away and I ought to be thinking about that. I've got more pressing things on my mind right now, what with the possibility of my mother being transferred to Karimnagar in 2 weeks time and my Phase Test and AITS (I did decently in the last one, by the way). So really, I shouldn't be bothered about something like this now. Now's the time to study. I've got plenty of time for all this later.

P.S. Did I really just write all of this? Golly!

Hiatus, Sabbatical or just plain break from posting

Yes, I know it’s been a long time. I’m sorry I had to leave you all just to read The Other One's posts (I know its unbearable, hee hee) Yeah, and guys, I’m not the author of the auto post alright!!!! Today I’m going to write about something in the present tense. I know that most of my posts are in rewind mode because you know I’d like to remember all this stuff when I read them years later. I do have a memory to write about, but I’m not going to risk writing it. I’ll give it a few months time and then go into rewind mode again. I guess that will bring out an element of nostalgia
For New Year, I’ve resolved to work harder. Yes, its tough, old habits die hard but I’m trying. I get up 4:45 in the morning to study and hoping that today atleast I’ll be early to college but you haven’t lived with the Ghosh Roys. Our getting to place on time solely depends on how fast my father can drive. So some days I have to sit in the last bench. It’s not that hard considering now I have glasses and I can see now. Apart from that, I get a really good view of the street where he lives. Sigh!
I think I’ve done this AITS better than the last. Well my Physics score alone is more than what I got in my previous two exams so that’s a good sign right? I couldn’t think of anyone to ask to fill the last page of my slam book so I filled it myself (you know, I can’t let anything go waste!) and it was shockingly blatant. While putting the slam book back, I found some of my old Barbie storybooks. Barbie………. Mention it to a 17 year old now and she’ll look at you like you’re a sea slug or something “You still like/play with Barbies?????????” So did you, once upon a time, missy! We all did. I admit Barbies repulse even me a little bit now but I accept them as a part of my life. Even when someone tells me that she doesn’t like them anymore, I know that she’s just a big, fat liar. Barbie was always the IT girl. She was pretty, had pretty accessories, traveled the world, was kind and had star appeal. No girl could resist them!! Even me. AND I played with GI Joe and Power Rangers action figures, so there! And Ken……….God, even the illustrations of Ken were hot in the story book. You know, its funny that I’ve never seen a Ken doll anywhere. You could have had a whole product range for boys and maybe little boys and girls could play in perfect harmony. Of course, Barbie and Ken broke up long ago. She’s going out with some Australian surfer dude called Blaine. Can inanimate objects be put on the same pedestal as celebrities and used as gossip fodder? Well that just goes to show you that Barbie aint some freaking, stupid doll!!! She’s a legend.
Speaking of Celebrities, I’ve been seeing too much of Gemma Atkinson in the newspapers. One more article about her and I’ll scream!!! Who is she? Cristiano Ronaldo’s ex. And it’s a good thing she is for she’s a sloot. (I love you, Cristiano!!! You’re hot and you play amazing football but your FIFA fiasco against Rooney is UNFORGIVABLE! But I still love you!) That’s the great thing about football, you see. The person wearing the same uniform as you and standing on the same side of the pitch on one day, can stand on the other side on another day, wearing a different uniform. Beckham’s losing form..I see him going down the Ganguly way…so I hope he comes back up again. I don’t want to see him as a falling star placed in some stupid galaxy…LA Galaxy to be exact. I’ve never even heard of it!!!! Beckham also reminds me of Victoria which reminds me of the Spice Girls. So they’re back…Woo hoo.. who cares? Never liked them in the first place. Britney’s going from mental to seriously freaking, demented mental. So’s Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and the like. Another thing I’m seeing more of these days are, Ayappa Swamis on motorbikes. They’re everywhere I tell you!!! What's the point of that, really? I mean you are supposed to lead an austere life...You know, Think like the Lotus, Be like the Lotus, Drive the Lotus (hee hee)
I have to edit my Bhutto post. The English is plain and mediocre. I can’t have that!!!! Bilawal Bhutto’s cute. Poor guy, I really feel sorry for him. I looked him up on MySpace but didn’t find him but guess who I found instead? SHAWN PYFROM!!! For those who don’t know, he plays Andrew Van de Kamp in Desperate Housewives. And I’m convinced he’s the real one, his profile looked honest to me. Not like the fake Drake Bells I found on Orkut. I asked one of them if he was the real one and he scrapped back in Portuguese…..so yeah, you’re not the real Drake Bell. Gosh imagine if it really is Shawn!!! Wow. I always thought he looked like the Pink Panther (not the real one, the other one…Alternative name : The Prowler. If you meet him in the corridors, you can be damn sure you’re prowling too…He’s cute too, weird but cute and doesn’t think twice before picking up someone’s eraser [nudge nudge]) So keeping fingers crossed and hoping I hear from Shawn Pyfrom. I still can’t believe it’s him!!!
WOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!