He Died And Left Me This Heath........

Today, I devote this post to Heath Ledger. It's not a entirely an entry about how much I like him, but more of an obituary. He committed suicide at 28, on January 22, 2008. He went away too young. I can't say I knew him personally but I don't know why I feel so terrible. Is this what girls my age felt like when James Dean died? I even feel bad that I never wrote his name in the Favourite Actor slot in any slam book! I haven't seen many of his movies but I've seen a part of A Knight's Tale. It was damn good.

William : You're just a silly little girl with a flower!

Jocelyn : Well, I'd rather be a silly little girl with a flower than a silly little boy with a stick. Why don't you like flowers?

William : You can't eat them, they are of no use and they smell

Jocelyn : If you want to prove that you love me, then you will lose today's match William : You're mad!

(At the match)

He charges forward and then stops after sometime and lets the opposing knight bludgeon him with his lance

Bill from STILL STANDING : What are you doing?

English Guy : Are you mad?

William (sighing) : Jocelyn wants me to prove my love for her by losing this match

English Guy : I'd rather have you blind

(When he is getting his arm bandaged)

Jocelyn's Maid : Jocelyn wants you to..................

William : I know, I know. If I love her, then I will lose every match for her

Jocelyn's Maid : No...........If you love her, then you will win every match for her

William : Women!

(The Next Day)

English Guy : There she is, as radiant as the sun. Fight for her. Fight for the one you love

William : Oh, I hate her!

(Later)

Jocelyn : Oh you poor thing! This is all my fault

William : Yes. It is.

All this while, my wanting to watch Brokeback Mountain was for Jake Gyllenhaal, but after seeing this movie, I had a new reason : Heath. He was supposed to play Joker in the new Batman movie. It's going to release this year. And I will watch it out of due respect for him (and the fact that I love Batman!) Some day, I will watch all of his movies. His new one, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnessus (did I get the title right?) was stopped midway. Since it's a fantasy movie, they're planning to make his character change form and bring in Johnny Depp Quite a few articles about him in the paper today. Like how the name Heath was unlucky as it is reminiscent of Heathcliff who had a tragic end and no luck with Catherine, as did Heath with Michelle Williams. This also reminds me of Catherine, who was a Heath Ledger fan, in All Ameican Girl by Meg Cabot (who by the way, wrote a very disgusting sequel to such a nice book) Did you know Mary Kate Olsen was a good friend of his? Strange! I can't stand her. Britney Spears doesn't think he's gone and that "he's around here" But I can see her following him down the same path. Fame comes at a heavy price and it cost him his life. I still can't explain why is it that I feel so bad. It's not even the kind of feeling I felt when I learned about Marlon Brando's death which came as a shock to me because I thought he was already dead! So think of just how many days I lost of him not being dead while I was thinking he was dead (make sense?) Here's to one talented actor who would have one day made it big and also in my Favourite Actor's list

Rest in peace, Heath............................

The Heartbreaker

Walkin' down the street
I see ya lookin' at me
I smile to myself-I know what you're thinking
I know it aint gonna be
But I can't resist winking



I hum to myself
Knowing you've fallen for me
But girl it aint that easy
You're not the one for me
It's not you, ya see



Coz I'm a heartbreaker
It makes me feel good
To see that look in your eyes
You adore me, You can't ignore me
So I'm gonna have some fun....



"Looking good today, girl".
With a blush and a smile you're mine
You're not the only one
Get in the line
You're not the girl for me



I, Myself and Me
We live in harmony
Don't you even think
You'll ever be as important to me
As me, No way honey!!



Coz i'm a heartbreaker
It makes me feel good
To see that look in your eyes
You think that i'm so fine, oh so divine
So let me have some fun....

Who's that I see,
She aint even looking at me!
She's got someone else(and many more)
Why does that make me sore?
Is she the one for me?



I'm sorry girl but I,
Have found someone my type
She's just what i wanted
So when the time was ripe
I asked her out, yeah



Please don't be mad
Try not to despise
I see it in your eyes
And I kinda feel bad
But what can I do, ya see



Coz I'm a heartbreaker
It makes me feel good
To see that look in your eyes
I see the hurt pride, I took you for a ride
Sorry girl, was just having some fun....

You know you are.............

So here we stand, in our secret place
The sound of the crowd is so far away

I wouldn't say its secret but there is a special place and it is very calm and quiet and peaceful. And what happened there will perhaps happen only once. People wear different faces everyday. He wore one one that day and so did I. And you know what? That combination worked pretty well. I barely recognise him now. I guess everyone's prone to fallacies of the human temperament, so I guess I shouldn't think much about it.

So lets take tonight and never let go
We're dancing this evening like there's no tomorrow

Nope, not letting go but not trying to hold on to it tightly either. I heard somewhere that the more you try to hold on to sand, the more it trickles away. So I'm going to let that impression in the sand stay undisturbed. Oh and I don't dance. I don't think he does either. They're just the song lyrics.

And I'll treasure this moment
Till we meet again

When I met him again after such a long time, my initial impression of him remained. I wouldn't look him in the face, behaved as if he were the dust of my feet, played hide and seek and loads of other crazy, cooked up supposedly ego issues I had. Time passed and everything turned upside down. Traits I hated changed into traits I liked. If someone told me at the time of our first meeting that in the near future it would be like this, I would have probably said "Later, dude!!! You don't know what you're talking about! That's virtually impossible" The Fates really know how to pull the strings, don't they? But I guess I was always fascinated by him from the start. He was so........Darcy! And the funny part is.........I really like Darcy. I don't know when we'll meet again but till then, the etchings in the sand continue to grow.

But no matter how far or where you may be
I just close my eyes and you're in my dreams

That's how it all started. Dreams. It was really kind of like some wake up call or something. I had no idea what my sub-conscious was trying to say but I hope my interpretations were right. I've been having weird dreams lately. I think I haven't been eating properly. He's in them, his face exactly as I remember it, slouched against the wall with the smile on his face. Sometimes they are downright cruel but otherwise there was always something nice about them.

I'll always look back as I walk away
It's here we will last for eternity

I walk away. I turn and look back sometimes. And I turn away again. I've never looked him in the eye till now, even if I did, it was just fleeting. He has a piercing gaze, searching right through you. And I know that if he does look, he'll know. I don't want him to know. It's best it remains this way. You know, just passing by him in those hallowed halls. It's a cycle that'll repeat itself everyday in reality and fantasy.

But until that day...............you.........know you are
The.............

No I'm not going to say it because saying it will mean I'm admitting to it but I don't want to....now. It's not the time for these kind of things anyway. I've got my life's most important exam a few months away and I ought to be thinking about that. I've got more pressing things on my mind right now, what with the possibility of my mother being transferred to Karimnagar in 2 weeks time and my Phase Test and AITS (I did decently in the last one, by the way). So really, I shouldn't be bothered about something like this now. Now's the time to study. I've got plenty of time for all this later.

P.S. Did I really just write all of this? Golly!

Hiatus, Sabbatical or just plain break from posting

Yes, I know it’s been a long time. I’m sorry I had to leave you all just to read The Other One's posts (I know its unbearable, hee hee) Yeah, and guys, I’m not the author of the auto post alright!!!! Today I’m going to write about something in the present tense. I know that most of my posts are in rewind mode because you know I’d like to remember all this stuff when I read them years later. I do have a memory to write about, but I’m not going to risk writing it. I’ll give it a few months time and then go into rewind mode again. I guess that will bring out an element of nostalgia
For New Year, I’ve resolved to work harder. Yes, its tough, old habits die hard but I’m trying. I get up 4:45 in the morning to study and hoping that today atleast I’ll be early to college but you haven’t lived with the Ghosh Roys. Our getting to place on time solely depends on how fast my father can drive. So some days I have to sit in the last bench. It’s not that hard considering now I have glasses and I can see now. Apart from that, I get a really good view of the street where he lives. Sigh!
I think I’ve done this AITS better than the last. Well my Physics score alone is more than what I got in my previous two exams so that’s a good sign right? I couldn’t think of anyone to ask to fill the last page of my slam book so I filled it myself (you know, I can’t let anything go waste!) and it was shockingly blatant. While putting the slam book back, I found some of my old Barbie storybooks. Barbie………. Mention it to a 17 year old now and she’ll look at you like you’re a sea slug or something “You still like/play with Barbies?????????” So did you, once upon a time, missy! We all did. I admit Barbies repulse even me a little bit now but I accept them as a part of my life. Even when someone tells me that she doesn’t like them anymore, I know that she’s just a big, fat liar. Barbie was always the IT girl. She was pretty, had pretty accessories, traveled the world, was kind and had star appeal. No girl could resist them!! Even me. AND I played with GI Joe and Power Rangers action figures, so there! And Ken……….God, even the illustrations of Ken were hot in the story book. You know, its funny that I’ve never seen a Ken doll anywhere. You could have had a whole product range for boys and maybe little boys and girls could play in perfect harmony. Of course, Barbie and Ken broke up long ago. She’s going out with some Australian surfer dude called Blaine. Can inanimate objects be put on the same pedestal as celebrities and used as gossip fodder? Well that just goes to show you that Barbie aint some freaking, stupid doll!!! She’s a legend.
Speaking of Celebrities, I’ve been seeing too much of Gemma Atkinson in the newspapers. One more article about her and I’ll scream!!! Who is she? Cristiano Ronaldo’s ex. And it’s a good thing she is for she’s a sloot. (I love you, Cristiano!!! You’re hot and you play amazing football but your FIFA fiasco against Rooney is UNFORGIVABLE! But I still love you!) That’s the great thing about football, you see. The person wearing the same uniform as you and standing on the same side of the pitch on one day, can stand on the other side on another day, wearing a different uniform. Beckham’s losing form..I see him going down the Ganguly way…so I hope he comes back up again. I don’t want to see him as a falling star placed in some stupid galaxy…LA Galaxy to be exact. I’ve never even heard of it!!!! Beckham also reminds me of Victoria which reminds me of the Spice Girls. So they’re back…Woo hoo.. who cares? Never liked them in the first place. Britney’s going from mental to seriously freaking, demented mental. So’s Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and the like. Another thing I’m seeing more of these days are, Ayappa Swamis on motorbikes. They’re everywhere I tell you!!! What's the point of that, really? I mean you are supposed to lead an austere life...You know, Think like the Lotus, Be like the Lotus, Drive the Lotus (hee hee)
I have to edit my Bhutto post. The English is plain and mediocre. I can’t have that!!!! Bilawal Bhutto’s cute. Poor guy, I really feel sorry for him. I looked him up on MySpace but didn’t find him but guess who I found instead? SHAWN PYFROM!!! For those who don’t know, he plays Andrew Van de Kamp in Desperate Housewives. And I’m convinced he’s the real one, his profile looked honest to me. Not like the fake Drake Bells I found on Orkut. I asked one of them if he was the real one and he scrapped back in Portuguese…..so yeah, you’re not the real Drake Bell. Gosh imagine if it really is Shawn!!! Wow. I always thought he looked like the Pink Panther (not the real one, the other one…Alternative name : The Prowler. If you meet him in the corridors, you can be damn sure you’re prowling too…He’s cute too, weird but cute and doesn’t think twice before picking up someone’s eraser [nudge nudge]) So keeping fingers crossed and hoping I hear from Shawn Pyfrom. I still can’t believe it’s him!!!
WOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in oh-oh-eight!

Well now how about that? First time i brought in the new year with the pals...pretty cool huh? I went for dinner first and that was damn good fun! Full nice view of the lake and all- it was pretty:D The guy poured brandy over my steak and set it on fire! Sayonee told a slightly freaked-out me that this apparently is a common practice...so I was like ok! Legit way to get drunk! Just kidding I'm not the type who'd want to get drunk, am quite fine with coke:P Ya and the damn thing had the skin on it- ok all veggies reading this do not get grossed out- that also as i found out from dad is supposedly quite normal...Maybe I'm just not cut out for fine-dining what say? But however weird the food was, it still tasted good and when you have good company, food hardly matters now does it?

Then I went over to Nikita's house and we all went to RSI and danced off....er the dj was kinda sad but he played mauja hi mauja and dard-e-disco so me happy!:) And i was pretty happy about the Varun thing too-both of them look too cute! And then we went back home and did timepass till 630 in the morn! Pillow fights, chatting, psycho-analyzing, dunno how time flew past....Full nice. And i finally got to taste a chocolate pastry from the famous Vac's....drool...

Hmpf but i thought that I would study on the first day of the year...but I just can't! I'm too darn sleepy. Perhaps just opening the book would be enough? I'm really really getting nervous about the studies thing...another aits coming up which I am going to mess up...I dunno, these aits' really piss me off...and it's a freaky feeling to know that this year is going to change my life. Everything-my whole, entire future-depends on what i do in the next 3 months. I mean, dude, YIKES! Way to put the pressure on! Oh dear, just thinking about it makes me queasy...

Well here's hoping that this year doesn't turn out to be a total disaster......optimistic aren't I?:D