Penning the Pedagogues - 5

College is now officially over and hence I am obliged to write the last in this series

Initiation (Physics) : I think his name is Amit, I'm not so sure. He was OK as a teacher, besides Kinematics is not a very hard chapter to teach. But the freaky part is that he looked a lot like Tom Riddle and he also carried a diary around. Gasp!!!

Initiation (Maths) : I don't know his name but he was Bengali for sure. I could make out by his accent. He taught Permutations and Combinations really well and he was nice and soft-spoken

Kunal Biswas (Physics) : Another Bengali. He kinda looked like Yogi Bear but I've never seen him hankering after a picka-nik basket. He also lisped a little. But he was smart, that I can say. He was a good teacher too, only he did the same things in different methods which was confusing and his class kind of got sluggish at times. But he did teach us that pouring a drop of water in Hussain Sagar will not make it overflow and cows cannot be added to dinosaurs.

Srinivas (Maths) : Creepy guy!!!! Creepy, Creepy, CREEPY!!!! Had a bald patch and looked weird and couldn't manage a single day without that stupid file of his. He came from Delhi to teach "the top two batches" of the afternoon slot (poor guy [not him], how he must have suffered for a year and he didn't even know it) but it was Delhi who booted him out finally. Enjoyed screaming at me and Apu and some guys too, but was particularly fond of a guy named Srinivas (hmm.....I wonder why?) Lech......pulled my uniform in front of Vijay to explain that just as how my uniform feels new to me, locus will also be new to me. Ugh!!! Creepy!

Neelesh (Physics) : Delhi gave him the boot too. Thye weird thing is, in the holidays I had some nightmares about being in A03 and I dreamt that he was teaching us and so I walk in first day and I see him actually teaching us!!!! ESP or what?? (Can I have my own psychic hotline now?) He liked to speak mostly in Hindi and he confused me even more than Kunal. Him and his Wheat-es-stone Breej. He finds jockeys very funny (don't ask) and had strange eyes but perfect teeth. Lekin jaate-jaate mera integration to sudhar ke gaya

Srinivas (English) : Boy, there are a lot of Srinivases in this world. But I liked to call him LameBob Tightypants. He liked to act as if he was all that but he wasn't. His pronunciation was weird and even though he can rattle off all the rules of grammar and has a bazillion certificates from God knows which institutes but he still doesn't get a certificate from me for his yoo-yes. Dweeb. Yes, you!!! But apart from all this he was nice

S.K. Rajesh (Chemistry) : Oh he's a damn good teacher! Very methodical and efficient. Stickler for rules, yes, but its for our own good otherwise my workbooks would have never been complete. Yeah, he used to make us stay back and do it but he always let the girls off in half an hour (hee hee). He really cares about his students. He charts their indivdual progress and encourages them and gives tips to improve and work harder (heck, he's the only one who talks during PTMs) He is very much in command. Oooh..you don't want to get on his wrong side. He doesn't yell but that soft, dangerous whisper and woe be you, if he resorts to THE SMILE, is enough to make your hair stand on its end. But he has a sense of humour too, sarcastic one, actually. He picks on the guys a lot and maybe that's why some of them resent him. Sigh! Boys and their stupid prejudices. All he wanted for them is to "come forward in life" and Anil to recap last class' concepts. Poor Aniline! (hee hee) Probably dreaded Chem periods. But I'm above all that, except for the fact that he called me Ghosh Roy at first (you don't call a lady by her last name!) but I still say he's a good teacher

Ramesh Babu (Maths) : WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!! (falling on knees and bending forward periodically with hands in air : Salami, Salami, Baloney). This dude is Math Lord!!! And he's cool too! Wher do you find a teacher like that????!!!! Any topic he just teaches it like as if its nothing! He gives really useful notes too. His classes were really fun. He had a mostly perverted sense of humour. What better way than to connect with a bunch of 16 year olds? He loved Vinayak...oh yes, Vinayak finally found his Master Sahab (ICSE students...get it?) Such moments are better documented in a separate post. "Tujhe Dekha" rocks! I love his ringtone. Havn't met a single person who does not like him (except for Raman, bully you!) Dislikes wearing ties but has an amazing dress sense. Dislikes writing spellings of big words too. Tried to be strict with us once but got laughed in the face. We can ask him "kocchens" anytime but he is a little busy, yaar! A little lazy and a slacker, he's worse than a pampered starlet. But he is very motivational - "If you don't do homework at 16, what do you do yaar?" Golly Sir, don't get us started! (hee hee) You rock!!!

Laik Ali (Maths) : A sad, sad, sad sucessor to the Lord. He gives methodical notes but his teaching aint great. His sense of humour sucks big time. Tried to pull a Babu once - "What are you doing with each other in the last bench?" and when he gets laughed at, "Arre, why do you take wrong meanings of everything?" Well, what are we supposed to understand from your moochooallies and your genooains? You're not normal! And no, you are not tangent either (paying you back in the same coin) It's a wonder I didn't send something flying at him all year. His comments are also better off listed in a separate post. Can't believe I was scared of him at first. And why are my sentiments for Kolkata your headache? I don't like him one bit.

Nagaraj (Chemistry) : He taught me during the Initiation Phase. A lackadaisical person, if there ever was one. He doesn't like A03. Someone told me he dislikes A01. He can't stand A07 either. My, doesn't he have sunshine in his life! Half the days I can't make out if he is clean shaven or not. He's a good teacher but he makes everything so boring in that toneless, droning voice of his, which he raise sometimes to say "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYE!!!" His fingers are very pointy and he's got a Hitch-hiker's thumb (learnt it while researching on Genetics) Expressionless too. But he is full of simpool eggjampools and has this annoying habit of coining new abstract nouns such as strongness and specificity. Strange sense of humour. What is periodic acid? Boiling the elements of periodic table and distilling them. Aaaye!! What you are saying? (point point)

P.K. Dash (Physics) : He's our Principal too. I didn't like him at first because he told Rachina's mum that both of us talk a lot and he had the same thing to say to my mum also during PTM but he's an amazing teacher. He teaches the fundamentals very clearly and everything becomes bherry bherry eechi. Of course, he can be a little scary at times with the whole bald and tubby demeanour but otherwise he's kinda cute (hee hee) I'm sure I'm going to remember his teaching for a long time like when a table and chair collides, chair does not turn into parrot and table doesn't become goat (what is it with Physics teachers and animals?) and oh, PHEEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gopalkrishna (English) : Meet BobBob Fancypants, His English is better than his predecessor but he is a jumpy little racoon. He just doesn't shut up!!! Of course, he likes me...which English teacher wouldn't? but his voice is as pleasing as nails being dragged along the blackboard. He pretends to be full posh but that's just a load of tosh (see Sir? Rhyme!)

Verma (French) : I definitely need a separate post for him but to cut a long story short and give you a preface, he's a weirdo, utterly sexist, demented and loony. He knows everything! Sure. But he's quite lenient until he is seized by temporary madness. But I'll have to admit he's a very good French teacher pour maintenant je parle francais tres bien. Oui, Oui.

SPECIAL MENTION

Ajay Tripathi (Substitute Chemistry) : Young dude. Has a profile on bharatmatrimony.com and is all cool and stuff supposedly but I'm very unimpressed
Atul Tripathi (Substitute Physics) : Supposedly a lech. Maybe...good teacher? Ok. Dimwit? Yes.
Me : Cough Cough Sneeze Wheeze
Him : I think you are not well?
You think? Gee, whatever gave you that idea?
Manoj (Substitute Physics) : Manoj (disdain again) I think I've said enough about him.
D.J. (Substitute Physics) : He's supposed to be good but first year Physics had me so strung out I didn't get a chance to judge him properly. I heard he liked him a lot (I ask you who wouldn't? Too many people, infact. Waaah!!!! I dislike competition)
Raman (Substitute Maths) : Scares the hell out of me. Too scared to concentrate in class. His "tcch arre!" is enough to give me a nervous breakdown. He shakes his hip a lot and pokes his nose in places where it doesn't belong.

Damodar (Physics Practicals) : Sneaky little stool pigeon who is dead scared of Dash. Likes to overact at times and loves to flick people's cellphones but one smouldering look from Harsha is enough to set him right (Yay Harsha!) Loves to make fun of Mohan Krishna. Poor Chitti Papu. His advice for our practical exams : ekdum jhakaas dikhna chahiye
Sudhakar (Chemistry Practicals) : Burette Uncle is nice. He was there for me from the day I got admitted. He's patient and nicer and plays it cool

Arun : I like him. He's sweet to me and he's the only person in the whole of FIITJEE to pronounce my name right
Waghray : I like him and then I don't like him. Depends on how he behaves. But it gives me satisfaction that I made his daughter dance to my tunes once
Sarita : Miss "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me" is the object of adolescent adulation of atleast half the male student population. Lady, you have nice dress sense but tone down your make-up, you look like a vamp.
Ibrahim : I still can't figure out what his designation is but I'm sure FIITJEE won't be able to function a single day without him
Notice Guy : I don't know his name but I always look forward to his visits. Bring us more notices for holidays please! (don't listen to Harsha's groans)
And finally.......................
The Watchmen of FIITJEE : One question - Is blowing the whistle one of the perks of your job?