The Practical Difficulties Of A Practical - 2

It is with great pleasure that I announce that the award for conducting the worst practical exams goes to FIITJEE Junior College!
Ok, Chemistry. I thought I would breeze through it. They possibly couldn't mess this up too. but apparently it was not so.
Our external was a lady whom I'd never seen in my entire life but supposedly had the honour of her own cabin in the staff room. After finished with our volumetric theory, she told us to write down our salt analysis theory. But before that she said, "You people are not writing salt analysis properly. If you don't do it properly I will just tear the paper" And what was the proper way, may I ask?
1. Draw 3 columns.
Anyone with near human intelligence can do that!
2. Write down the preliminary tests
You got to start somewhere right?
3. Write down all the tests for anions and cations and at the very end write the cofirmatory test after doing the experiment
Unless you are blessed with the Inner Eye, you have absolutely no way of knowing which salt you are getting so why are we wasting our time doing this? I thought we were supposed to write as we go along! Oh and I'm sure it would be very much legible if the identification and confirmatory tests are miles apart from each other.
If that's not enough, she decided to test just how stupid we were by saying "Don't you know how to test for Group 1...blah blah blah" and blurting out the procedures. LADY, THIS IS AN EXAMINATION!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??????? Even Manoj isn't that dimwitted. Anyways our demonstrator told us not to listen to her and follow the normal writing procedure. You know, I'm quite grateful that I'm slow at times because I just had to start writing the Carbonate Test (so how about taking SLOTH off the 7 deadly sins list, huh?)
She followed us in to the lab later and she caught two guys laughing at some unseen hilarity which their species are wont to do and drilled them about their chemical knowledge. They were clever enough to look ashamed near her but once out of eyeshot, they resembled Hell's angel. Oh yeah, she christened someone "Mr. Laugh" and behaved as if an offence punishable by death was committed when a guy misheard 0.05M for 0.01 M.
We were handed our salts. Pink. Manganese chloride. Well, that was easy! Wish I got a white one atleast, it would have been challenging. Anyways, let the experiment begin but before that, "Show me which cation and anion you got before writing it down!!!" GROAN.
I made my way through a sea of legs and stuck out bottoms to get to the reagents table. As luck would have it, manganese dioxide was over. I asked Sir for a new sample but he scrounged the last from the bottle and dumped it into my test tube and I braced myself. And then I got THE SMELL. The smelly smell. The smelly kind of smell that smells. CHLORINE. Cough, Cough back to table and tell people to move out of the way and write down the tests and take my paper to her.
"Are you satisfied that it's chlorine?" My nose is full of it, I'm MORE than satisfied!!!! Time for volumetric now which went pretty well except for occasional questions from the guy next to me and the groans of the guy opposite me about how agonising it is to have sulphuric acid fall on his hand. What a drama queen! Ask me, I've had sulphuric acid on my hand 3 times, hydrochloric once and also ammonium hydroxide. Hmpf, Showoff. And I finally discovered how to get excess base out of the pipette perfectly. Press the other end on the bottom of the beaker and lift your thumb very slowly. That'll work. I finished and I was asked to wait. I looked out of the window. I had a sudden urge to release my paper and let it go with the wind and I plead temporary insanity due to harmful effect of chemicals.
Well, now I can say I've succesfully completed my Practical Pre-finals unlike someone who's stars are obviously aligned well to arrange a holiday tomorrow (ahem cough COUGH)

P.S. Today we learnt about borg-lar alarms and I was asked to do a favour and tomorrow is Baa-aaa-krid.