Unknown Faces, Known Pain

Why is it that some people have fantastic, fabulous lives and others have wretched lives? Is it really fair to anyone of us? What gives other people the right to mistreat and look down upon others? You see all this cruelty from far and shame the wrongdoers but the next day, knowingly or unknowingly, you might be one of them.
In a third world country like India, poverty is one of the major problems. You see beggars everywhere and I really feel sorry for them. Of course, some of them might just be pretending to be sick and handicapped, like one beggar at NTR Circle who faked Parkinson's Disease to garner sympathy. When the vehicles stop, he shakes his head uncontrollably. When they drive off, his head is rod - straight. There is also another one at Paradise Circle who has only one leg and uses crutches. He hires an auto everyday to go to work and in the evening takes an auto back home after finishing his duty. Another way of getting money is by using children. It's really one form of emotional blackmail. A little girl has been coming to our college to beg for the last few days. Her name is Sapna and I see her being shooed away, ignored or made fun of by the more fortunate ones. I wish I could do something for these beggars. But there is a feeling of guilt because this is my parent's money. So I plan to do something when I stand on my own two feet and I hope this feeling stays because people say one thing whern they are kids and grow up to do quite something else. I remember crying once when I was little because my father refused to give a beggar money and now sometimes I pass by indifferently in front of their empty palms. Things are so much complicated now, you don't even know who deserves to be given money or not. Some of these beggars pull faces when I give them a coin and behave as if I did them a favour while some even harass you for more but some accept the alms graciously and bless you profusely. I particularly rememeber a beggar at Lifestyle crossing. He had no legs. I gave him a coin and he smiled so sweetly and went off and made me marvel at how happy he can be in his wretchedness. That really touched me. At times, just after refusal, my conscience haunts me until I set out the find the one I rejected and give him his due but there are some faces that are lost in the crowd forever and I cannot find them again because I let go of the chance to help them like the old fakir in my colony, the old man, near my mother's office, who looked like Santa Claus and the old lady near my school who only asked me to read out her prescription as she couldn't understand it. Their faces come to me at times and I feel really awful
Another face that I will remember is that little boy in Agra. He sold imitation jewellery for a living. He cornered me once and tried to sell his wares. I tried to brush him away politely at first but he kept insisting and in the end after a lot of bargaining and pleading, I bought a pair of earrings from him for Rs. 10. By then, my aunt was calling me from the car. He asked me to buy another one but I had to leave. As I sat in the car, I thought, would I really had been at a loss if I had purchased more of his earrings? No. I wouldn't. The money that lay idle in my purse would have meant a lot to that little boy. Well, I did help him in a tiny way, but I wish I could have done more. Sometimes I pray that Agra's little soul has a better life than what he has been given.
You don't have to be poor for someone to mistreat you or misunderstand you. At Yelahanka station, when we were waiting for the train to arrive, I saw a man standing really close to me and staring at me. I moved away thinking he was a lech and my father yelled at him. It was only later that both of us realised he was blind, when he tottered about with his stick, asking people if his train had arrived. My father felt really bad and so did I. I wanted to apologise to him but couldn't find the courage. Either he didn't hear what my father said or he was just used to it. Take New Year for example. I went with my parents and aunt to Blue Fox for dinner. The hotel people had hired a professional singer to serenade the customers. He went form table to table hoping that someone would ask him to play but people either ignored him or obliged in a very condescending way. I heard him sing and play. He was very good. But people here do not recognise talent or the dignity of labour, no matter in what form it is. More recently, we went out again to 100 Degrees. There we saw a noisy, obnoxious family with three kids who had brought their maid along to sheperd them. They made her sit outside while they feasted inside. I saw the threshold that separated the rich and the poor and also the humane and the barbaric. They could have jolly well left her out. Atleast she wouldn't be subjected to the torture of seeing all that she couldn't have right in front of her eyes.
There are different forms of cruelty, yes. You don't have to be an evil looking, hirsute gorilla spouting catchy dialogues to be a villain. But the world is not completely without saints. I don't aspire to be one but I hope I can do something for all those people whose suffering made me cry and remember them

Penning the Pedagogues - 5

College is now officially over and hence I am obliged to write the last in this series

Initiation (Physics) : I think his name is Amit, I'm not so sure. He was OK as a teacher, besides Kinematics is not a very hard chapter to teach. But the freaky part is that he looked a lot like Tom Riddle and he also carried a diary around. Gasp!!!

Initiation (Maths) : I don't know his name but he was Bengali for sure. I could make out by his accent. He taught Permutations and Combinations really well and he was nice and soft-spoken

Kunal Biswas (Physics) : Another Bengali. He kinda looked like Yogi Bear but I've never seen him hankering after a picka-nik basket. He also lisped a little. But he was smart, that I can say. He was a good teacher too, only he did the same things in different methods which was confusing and his class kind of got sluggish at times. But he did teach us that pouring a drop of water in Hussain Sagar will not make it overflow and cows cannot be added to dinosaurs.

Srinivas (Maths) : Creepy guy!!!! Creepy, Creepy, CREEPY!!!! Had a bald patch and looked weird and couldn't manage a single day without that stupid file of his. He came from Delhi to teach "the top two batches" of the afternoon slot (poor guy [not him], how he must have suffered for a year and he didn't even know it) but it was Delhi who booted him out finally. Enjoyed screaming at me and Apu and some guys too, but was particularly fond of a guy named Srinivas (hmm.....I wonder why?) Lech......pulled my uniform in front of Vijay to explain that just as how my uniform feels new to me, locus will also be new to me. Ugh!!! Creepy!

Neelesh (Physics) : Delhi gave him the boot too. Thye weird thing is, in the holidays I had some nightmares about being in A03 and I dreamt that he was teaching us and so I walk in first day and I see him actually teaching us!!!! ESP or what?? (Can I have my own psychic hotline now?) He liked to speak mostly in Hindi and he confused me even more than Kunal. Him and his Wheat-es-stone Breej. He finds jockeys very funny (don't ask) and had strange eyes but perfect teeth. Lekin jaate-jaate mera integration to sudhar ke gaya

Srinivas (English) : Boy, there are a lot of Srinivases in this world. But I liked to call him LameBob Tightypants. He liked to act as if he was all that but he wasn't. His pronunciation was weird and even though he can rattle off all the rules of grammar and has a bazillion certificates from God knows which institutes but he still doesn't get a certificate from me for his yoo-yes. Dweeb. Yes, you!!! But apart from all this he was nice

S.K. Rajesh (Chemistry) : Oh he's a damn good teacher! Very methodical and efficient. Stickler for rules, yes, but its for our own good otherwise my workbooks would have never been complete. Yeah, he used to make us stay back and do it but he always let the girls off in half an hour (hee hee). He really cares about his students. He charts their indivdual progress and encourages them and gives tips to improve and work harder (heck, he's the only one who talks during PTMs) He is very much in command. Oooh..you don't want to get on his wrong side. He doesn't yell but that soft, dangerous whisper and woe be you, if he resorts to THE SMILE, is enough to make your hair stand on its end. But he has a sense of humour too, sarcastic one, actually. He picks on the guys a lot and maybe that's why some of them resent him. Sigh! Boys and their stupid prejudices. All he wanted for them is to "come forward in life" and Anil to recap last class' concepts. Poor Aniline! (hee hee) Probably dreaded Chem periods. But I'm above all that, except for the fact that he called me Ghosh Roy at first (you don't call a lady by her last name!) but I still say he's a good teacher

Ramesh Babu (Maths) : WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!! (falling on knees and bending forward periodically with hands in air : Salami, Salami, Baloney). This dude is Math Lord!!! And he's cool too! Wher do you find a teacher like that????!!!! Any topic he just teaches it like as if its nothing! He gives really useful notes too. His classes were really fun. He had a mostly perverted sense of humour. What better way than to connect with a bunch of 16 year olds? He loved Vinayak...oh yes, Vinayak finally found his Master Sahab (ICSE students...get it?) Such moments are better documented in a separate post. "Tujhe Dekha" rocks! I love his ringtone. Havn't met a single person who does not like him (except for Raman, bully you!) Dislikes wearing ties but has an amazing dress sense. Dislikes writing spellings of big words too. Tried to be strict with us once but got laughed in the face. We can ask him "kocchens" anytime but he is a little busy, yaar! A little lazy and a slacker, he's worse than a pampered starlet. But he is very motivational - "If you don't do homework at 16, what do you do yaar?" Golly Sir, don't get us started! (hee hee) You rock!!!

Laik Ali (Maths) : A sad, sad, sad sucessor to the Lord. He gives methodical notes but his teaching aint great. His sense of humour sucks big time. Tried to pull a Babu once - "What are you doing with each other in the last bench?" and when he gets laughed at, "Arre, why do you take wrong meanings of everything?" Well, what are we supposed to understand from your moochooallies and your genooains? You're not normal! And no, you are not tangent either (paying you back in the same coin) It's a wonder I didn't send something flying at him all year. His comments are also better off listed in a separate post. Can't believe I was scared of him at first. And why are my sentiments for Kolkata your headache? I don't like him one bit.

Nagaraj (Chemistry) : He taught me during the Initiation Phase. A lackadaisical person, if there ever was one. He doesn't like A03. Someone told me he dislikes A01. He can't stand A07 either. My, doesn't he have sunshine in his life! Half the days I can't make out if he is clean shaven or not. He's a good teacher but he makes everything so boring in that toneless, droning voice of his, which he raise sometimes to say "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYE!!!" His fingers are very pointy and he's got a Hitch-hiker's thumb (learnt it while researching on Genetics) Expressionless too. But he is full of simpool eggjampools and has this annoying habit of coining new abstract nouns such as strongness and specificity. Strange sense of humour. What is periodic acid? Boiling the elements of periodic table and distilling them. Aaaye!! What you are saying? (point point)

P.K. Dash (Physics) : He's our Principal too. I didn't like him at first because he told Rachina's mum that both of us talk a lot and he had the same thing to say to my mum also during PTM but he's an amazing teacher. He teaches the fundamentals very clearly and everything becomes bherry bherry eechi. Of course, he can be a little scary at times with the whole bald and tubby demeanour but otherwise he's kinda cute (hee hee) I'm sure I'm going to remember his teaching for a long time like when a table and chair collides, chair does not turn into parrot and table doesn't become goat (what is it with Physics teachers and animals?) and oh, PHEEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gopalkrishna (English) : Meet BobBob Fancypants, His English is better than his predecessor but he is a jumpy little racoon. He just doesn't shut up!!! Of course, he likes me...which English teacher wouldn't? but his voice is as pleasing as nails being dragged along the blackboard. He pretends to be full posh but that's just a load of tosh (see Sir? Rhyme!)

Verma (French) : I definitely need a separate post for him but to cut a long story short and give you a preface, he's a weirdo, utterly sexist, demented and loony. He knows everything! Sure. But he's quite lenient until he is seized by temporary madness. But I'll have to admit he's a very good French teacher pour maintenant je parle francais tres bien. Oui, Oui.

SPECIAL MENTION

Ajay Tripathi (Substitute Chemistry) : Young dude. Has a profile on bharatmatrimony.com and is all cool and stuff supposedly but I'm very unimpressed
Atul Tripathi (Substitute Physics) : Supposedly a lech. Maybe...good teacher? Ok. Dimwit? Yes.
Me : Cough Cough Sneeze Wheeze
Him : I think you are not well?
You think? Gee, whatever gave you that idea?
Manoj (Substitute Physics) : Manoj (disdain again) I think I've said enough about him.
D.J. (Substitute Physics) : He's supposed to be good but first year Physics had me so strung out I didn't get a chance to judge him properly. I heard he liked him a lot (I ask you who wouldn't? Too many people, infact. Waaah!!!! I dislike competition)
Raman (Substitute Maths) : Scares the hell out of me. Too scared to concentrate in class. His "tcch arre!" is enough to give me a nervous breakdown. He shakes his hip a lot and pokes his nose in places where it doesn't belong.

Damodar (Physics Practicals) : Sneaky little stool pigeon who is dead scared of Dash. Likes to overact at times and loves to flick people's cellphones but one smouldering look from Harsha is enough to set him right (Yay Harsha!) Loves to make fun of Mohan Krishna. Poor Chitti Papu. His advice for our practical exams : ekdum jhakaas dikhna chahiye
Sudhakar (Chemistry Practicals) : Burette Uncle is nice. He was there for me from the day I got admitted. He's patient and nicer and plays it cool

Arun : I like him. He's sweet to me and he's the only person in the whole of FIITJEE to pronounce my name right
Waghray : I like him and then I don't like him. Depends on how he behaves. But it gives me satisfaction that I made his daughter dance to my tunes once
Sarita : Miss "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me" is the object of adolescent adulation of atleast half the male student population. Lady, you have nice dress sense but tone down your make-up, you look like a vamp.
Ibrahim : I still can't figure out what his designation is but I'm sure FIITJEE won't be able to function a single day without him
Notice Guy : I don't know his name but I always look forward to his visits. Bring us more notices for holidays please! (don't listen to Harsha's groans)
And finally.......................
The Watchmen of FIITJEE : One question - Is blowing the whistle one of the perks of your job?

He Died And Left Me This Heath........

Today, I devote this post to Heath Ledger. It's not a entirely an entry about how much I like him, but more of an obituary. He committed suicide at 28, on January 22, 2008. He went away too young. I can't say I knew him personally but I don't know why I feel so terrible. Is this what girls my age felt like when James Dean died? I even feel bad that I never wrote his name in the Favourite Actor slot in any slam book! I haven't seen many of his movies but I've seen a part of A Knight's Tale. It was damn good.

William : You're just a silly little girl with a flower!

Jocelyn : Well, I'd rather be a silly little girl with a flower than a silly little boy with a stick. Why don't you like flowers?

William : You can't eat them, they are of no use and they smell

Jocelyn : If you want to prove that you love me, then you will lose today's match William : You're mad!

(At the match)

He charges forward and then stops after sometime and lets the opposing knight bludgeon him with his lance

Bill from STILL STANDING : What are you doing?

English Guy : Are you mad?

William (sighing) : Jocelyn wants me to prove my love for her by losing this match

English Guy : I'd rather have you blind

(When he is getting his arm bandaged)

Jocelyn's Maid : Jocelyn wants you to..................

William : I know, I know. If I love her, then I will lose every match for her

Jocelyn's Maid : No...........If you love her, then you will win every match for her

William : Women!

(The Next Day)

English Guy : There she is, as radiant as the sun. Fight for her. Fight for the one you love

William : Oh, I hate her!

(Later)

Jocelyn : Oh you poor thing! This is all my fault

William : Yes. It is.

All this while, my wanting to watch Brokeback Mountain was for Jake Gyllenhaal, but after seeing this movie, I had a new reason : Heath. He was supposed to play Joker in the new Batman movie. It's going to release this year. And I will watch it out of due respect for him (and the fact that I love Batman!) Some day, I will watch all of his movies. His new one, The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnessus (did I get the title right?) was stopped midway. Since it's a fantasy movie, they're planning to make his character change form and bring in Johnny Depp Quite a few articles about him in the paper today. Like how the name Heath was unlucky as it is reminiscent of Heathcliff who had a tragic end and no luck with Catherine, as did Heath with Michelle Williams. This also reminds me of Catherine, who was a Heath Ledger fan, in All Ameican Girl by Meg Cabot (who by the way, wrote a very disgusting sequel to such a nice book) Did you know Mary Kate Olsen was a good friend of his? Strange! I can't stand her. Britney Spears doesn't think he's gone and that "he's around here" But I can see her following him down the same path. Fame comes at a heavy price and it cost him his life. I still can't explain why is it that I feel so bad. It's not even the kind of feeling I felt when I learned about Marlon Brando's death which came as a shock to me because I thought he was already dead! So think of just how many days I lost of him not being dead while I was thinking he was dead (make sense?) Here's to one talented actor who would have one day made it big and also in my Favourite Actor's list

Rest in peace, Heath............................

The Heartbreaker

Walkin' down the street
I see ya lookin' at me
I smile to myself-I know what you're thinking
I know it aint gonna be
But I can't resist winking



I hum to myself
Knowing you've fallen for me
But girl it aint that easy
You're not the one for me
It's not you, ya see



Coz I'm a heartbreaker
It makes me feel good
To see that look in your eyes
You adore me, You can't ignore me
So I'm gonna have some fun....



"Looking good today, girl".
With a blush and a smile you're mine
You're not the only one
Get in the line
You're not the girl for me



I, Myself and Me
We live in harmony
Don't you even think
You'll ever be as important to me
As me, No way honey!!



Coz i'm a heartbreaker
It makes me feel good
To see that look in your eyes
You think that i'm so fine, oh so divine
So let me have some fun....

Who's that I see,
She aint even looking at me!
She's got someone else(and many more)
Why does that make me sore?
Is she the one for me?



I'm sorry girl but I,
Have found someone my type
She's just what i wanted
So when the time was ripe
I asked her out, yeah



Please don't be mad
Try not to despise
I see it in your eyes
And I kinda feel bad
But what can I do, ya see



Coz I'm a heartbreaker
It makes me feel good
To see that look in your eyes
I see the hurt pride, I took you for a ride
Sorry girl, was just having some fun....

You know you are.............

So here we stand, in our secret place
The sound of the crowd is so far away

I wouldn't say its secret but there is a special place and it is very calm and quiet and peaceful. And what happened there will perhaps happen only once. People wear different faces everyday. He wore one one that day and so did I. And you know what? That combination worked pretty well. I barely recognise him now. I guess everyone's prone to fallacies of the human temperament, so I guess I shouldn't think much about it.

So lets take tonight and never let go
We're dancing this evening like there's no tomorrow

Nope, not letting go but not trying to hold on to it tightly either. I heard somewhere that the more you try to hold on to sand, the more it trickles away. So I'm going to let that impression in the sand stay undisturbed. Oh and I don't dance. I don't think he does either. They're just the song lyrics.

And I'll treasure this moment
Till we meet again

When I met him again after such a long time, my initial impression of him remained. I wouldn't look him in the face, behaved as if he were the dust of my feet, played hide and seek and loads of other crazy, cooked up supposedly ego issues I had. Time passed and everything turned upside down. Traits I hated changed into traits I liked. If someone told me at the time of our first meeting that in the near future it would be like this, I would have probably said "Later, dude!!! You don't know what you're talking about! That's virtually impossible" The Fates really know how to pull the strings, don't they? But I guess I was always fascinated by him from the start. He was so........Darcy! And the funny part is.........I really like Darcy. I don't know when we'll meet again but till then, the etchings in the sand continue to grow.

But no matter how far or where you may be
I just close my eyes and you're in my dreams

That's how it all started. Dreams. It was really kind of like some wake up call or something. I had no idea what my sub-conscious was trying to say but I hope my interpretations were right. I've been having weird dreams lately. I think I haven't been eating properly. He's in them, his face exactly as I remember it, slouched against the wall with the smile on his face. Sometimes they are downright cruel but otherwise there was always something nice about them.

I'll always look back as I walk away
It's here we will last for eternity

I walk away. I turn and look back sometimes. And I turn away again. I've never looked him in the eye till now, even if I did, it was just fleeting. He has a piercing gaze, searching right through you. And I know that if he does look, he'll know. I don't want him to know. It's best it remains this way. You know, just passing by him in those hallowed halls. It's a cycle that'll repeat itself everyday in reality and fantasy.

But until that day...............you.........know you are
The.............

No I'm not going to say it because saying it will mean I'm admitting to it but I don't want to....now. It's not the time for these kind of things anyway. I've got my life's most important exam a few months away and I ought to be thinking about that. I've got more pressing things on my mind right now, what with the possibility of my mother being transferred to Karimnagar in 2 weeks time and my Phase Test and AITS (I did decently in the last one, by the way). So really, I shouldn't be bothered about something like this now. Now's the time to study. I've got plenty of time for all this later.

P.S. Did I really just write all of this? Golly!

Hiatus, Sabbatical or just plain break from posting

Yes, I know it’s been a long time. I’m sorry I had to leave you all just to read The Other One's posts (I know its unbearable, hee hee) Yeah, and guys, I’m not the author of the auto post alright!!!! Today I’m going to write about something in the present tense. I know that most of my posts are in rewind mode because you know I’d like to remember all this stuff when I read them years later. I do have a memory to write about, but I’m not going to risk writing it. I’ll give it a few months time and then go into rewind mode again. I guess that will bring out an element of nostalgia
For New Year, I’ve resolved to work harder. Yes, its tough, old habits die hard but I’m trying. I get up 4:45 in the morning to study and hoping that today atleast I’ll be early to college but you haven’t lived with the Ghosh Roys. Our getting to place on time solely depends on how fast my father can drive. So some days I have to sit in the last bench. It’s not that hard considering now I have glasses and I can see now. Apart from that, I get a really good view of the street where he lives. Sigh!
I think I’ve done this AITS better than the last. Well my Physics score alone is more than what I got in my previous two exams so that’s a good sign right? I couldn’t think of anyone to ask to fill the last page of my slam book so I filled it myself (you know, I can’t let anything go waste!) and it was shockingly blatant. While putting the slam book back, I found some of my old Barbie storybooks. Barbie………. Mention it to a 17 year old now and she’ll look at you like you’re a sea slug or something “You still like/play with Barbies?????????” So did you, once upon a time, missy! We all did. I admit Barbies repulse even me a little bit now but I accept them as a part of my life. Even when someone tells me that she doesn’t like them anymore, I know that she’s just a big, fat liar. Barbie was always the IT girl. She was pretty, had pretty accessories, traveled the world, was kind and had star appeal. No girl could resist them!! Even me. AND I played with GI Joe and Power Rangers action figures, so there! And Ken……….God, even the illustrations of Ken were hot in the story book. You know, its funny that I’ve never seen a Ken doll anywhere. You could have had a whole product range for boys and maybe little boys and girls could play in perfect harmony. Of course, Barbie and Ken broke up long ago. She’s going out with some Australian surfer dude called Blaine. Can inanimate objects be put on the same pedestal as celebrities and used as gossip fodder? Well that just goes to show you that Barbie aint some freaking, stupid doll!!! She’s a legend.
Speaking of Celebrities, I’ve been seeing too much of Gemma Atkinson in the newspapers. One more article about her and I’ll scream!!! Who is she? Cristiano Ronaldo’s ex. And it’s a good thing she is for she’s a sloot. (I love you, Cristiano!!! You’re hot and you play amazing football but your FIFA fiasco against Rooney is UNFORGIVABLE! But I still love you!) That’s the great thing about football, you see. The person wearing the same uniform as you and standing on the same side of the pitch on one day, can stand on the other side on another day, wearing a different uniform. Beckham’s losing form..I see him going down the Ganguly way…so I hope he comes back up again. I don’t want to see him as a falling star placed in some stupid galaxy…LA Galaxy to be exact. I’ve never even heard of it!!!! Beckham also reminds me of Victoria which reminds me of the Spice Girls. So they’re back…Woo hoo.. who cares? Never liked them in the first place. Britney’s going from mental to seriously freaking, demented mental. So’s Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton and the like. Another thing I’m seeing more of these days are, Ayappa Swamis on motorbikes. They’re everywhere I tell you!!! What's the point of that, really? I mean you are supposed to lead an austere life...You know, Think like the Lotus, Be like the Lotus, Drive the Lotus (hee hee)
I have to edit my Bhutto post. The English is plain and mediocre. I can’t have that!!!! Bilawal Bhutto’s cute. Poor guy, I really feel sorry for him. I looked him up on MySpace but didn’t find him but guess who I found instead? SHAWN PYFROM!!! For those who don’t know, he plays Andrew Van de Kamp in Desperate Housewives. And I’m convinced he’s the real one, his profile looked honest to me. Not like the fake Drake Bells I found on Orkut. I asked one of them if he was the real one and he scrapped back in Portuguese…..so yeah, you’re not the real Drake Bell. Gosh imagine if it really is Shawn!!! Wow. I always thought he looked like the Pink Panther (not the real one, the other one…Alternative name : The Prowler. If you meet him in the corridors, you can be damn sure you’re prowling too…He’s cute too, weird but cute and doesn’t think twice before picking up someone’s eraser [nudge nudge]) So keeping fingers crossed and hoping I hear from Shawn Pyfrom. I still can’t believe it’s him!!!
WOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in oh-oh-eight!

Well now how about that? First time i brought in the new year with the pals...pretty cool huh? I went for dinner first and that was damn good fun! Full nice view of the lake and all- it was pretty:D The guy poured brandy over my steak and set it on fire! Sayonee told a slightly freaked-out me that this apparently is a common practice...so I was like ok! Legit way to get drunk! Just kidding I'm not the type who'd want to get drunk, am quite fine with coke:P Ya and the damn thing had the skin on it- ok all veggies reading this do not get grossed out- that also as i found out from dad is supposedly quite normal...Maybe I'm just not cut out for fine-dining what say? But however weird the food was, it still tasted good and when you have good company, food hardly matters now does it?

Then I went over to Nikita's house and we all went to RSI and danced off....er the dj was kinda sad but he played mauja hi mauja and dard-e-disco so me happy!:) And i was pretty happy about the Varun thing too-both of them look too cute! And then we went back home and did timepass till 630 in the morn! Pillow fights, chatting, psycho-analyzing, dunno how time flew past....Full nice. And i finally got to taste a chocolate pastry from the famous Vac's....drool...

Hmpf but i thought that I would study on the first day of the year...but I just can't! I'm too darn sleepy. Perhaps just opening the book would be enough? I'm really really getting nervous about the studies thing...another aits coming up which I am going to mess up...I dunno, these aits' really piss me off...and it's a freaky feeling to know that this year is going to change my life. Everything-my whole, entire future-depends on what i do in the next 3 months. I mean, dude, YIKES! Way to put the pressure on! Oh dear, just thinking about it makes me queasy...

Well here's hoping that this year doesn't turn out to be a total disaster......optimistic aren't I?:D